Thank you so much for your thought. This is helpful. My partner and I have seemed discussed the difficulties we are having but o know they will creep up again next time. I will share these tips with him. Thanks again.
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Hi, I am in a blended family dynamic. I have been with my partner for 4 years and living together for almost 2. My partner has a 8 year old boy, and I, a 12 year old girl. My tween has had mood swings and irritable behaviour on abs off for the last 7 months or so, and has done the big jump into year 7. She had also just gone through puberty and friendship issues, the list goes on..... Sometimes when I’m trying to deal with a situation, my partner makes comments and points out her attitude. It often doesn’t help and sometimes I’m left trying to explain what’s going on for her and why I won’t punish her for every single thing. It makes him think I’m defending her and taking her side. I try very hard to remain neutral and understanding to how the constant moods affect him. But it’s now giving me anxiety as I’m feel I’m trying to keep everyone happy. An example happened last night, my daughter retaliated after I put a restriction on social media on her phone for the first time. She did act out very emotionally, saying I had no right. She packed her bag and said she was getting picked up. I could see she was very frustrated. My partner huddled her out the door and just said “ok then, see you later”, and when she returned to talk to me, Le laughed at her as she was sounding very irrational. I asked him not to do that and said it was escalating her and making it harder for me to deal with the situation. It started an argument between us. I waited for a while for her to come back but when she didn’t, I went and found her, heard her out, and taught her to write her anger in a book. Meanwhile, my partner retreated and became sullen. This frustrates me as I let him discipline his 8 year old his way without comment. My partner says he only says stuff because he has had enough of hearing her attitude. I do pick her up on attitude but don’t punish her every time. I feel it’s a balancing act to keep her talking with me. I don’t feel my partner understands or appreciates this and we just go around in circles. He reverts back to how it was dealt with when he was a kid. Am I just to let him say whatever to her in the moment so that he feels i am supporting him? I understand this is an issue but sometimes I think he just has a short patience with my kids (his kid is quiet and passive). How do I deal with these situations? I’m worried I’m that if I leave his comments and dealings it will interfere with me trying to develop a relationship with my daughter where she can talk to me when things are difficult emotionally for her, even if she is not dealing with it the best way (has attitude). Thanks
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