Hi @The3rdwife ,    Blended families can be a really tricky beast, and it sounds like you're doing an amazing job as a stepmum. There are so many challenges when you move in to a step parenting role (as well as massive rewards!), and as someone  I think you are spot on when you say that you need your partner's support - it's so important that both of you are on the same page with setting appropriate rules and boundaries, and he absolutely needs to be on the same team as you in terms of following through with expectations and keeping up with the routine. Things like speaking to each other respectfully, and doing agreed chores might be things that you can agree on as a family.    Have you and your husband ever sat down with the kids and set out some house rules? It can be really helpful for the kids to feel involved in the process, and write down rules as a family. We have a great video from a mum sharing her experiences as a stepmum that you can check out here, there's some nice examples there of the types of house rules that parents often find helpful.    I also found this article on blended families really helpful from the raising children's network-  they really emphasize that for the first 2 years at least it's ideal if their own parent sets the rules, with the step parent playing the role of supporter/ backup.    If you think it would be helpful to have a chat to a professional, Parentsline is a free service that you can access to have a chat to a counsellor. I'm also going to tag in a few more of parents from our single parents board who may be able to share their experiences - you're not alone, and it sounds like you're doing a great job .  ... View more