Wow! I love Blueskies reply! So very true. When my first adopted baby arrived I discovered an entire room of love inside my heart just for her. Then when my second adopted baby was due I was terrified that I might not have enough love for her - low and behold! I discovered an entire room of love inside my heart just for her. Also, don't let peoples' lack of education offend you, just keep educating them in the nicest possible way. I don't know how many times people have told me I'm not my daughters' "real mother". I've been my eldest daughters' "real mother/ forever mother" for 17 years and 1 month, 24/7 - that's very REAL. (What they mean is that I'm not the "biological mother") ... View more

Excellent idea Birdwings! I too am feeling the loss of the school gate conversations and the gym meets, I've lost my parent groups and my job. So a virtual coffee sounds great - name the day. Seriously, I don't think you should apologise for the "military style operation" initiative. I wish I had indulged earlier and I might have discovered my daughters' severe anxiety and associate behaviours earlier. ... View more

Dear Strs21, I feel your pain. About 4 weeks ago I too discovered that my 17yo daughter is self harming. Like you I was completely overwhelmed and didn't know where to start. Without any knowledge of this way of relieving stress I was floundering. Needless to say I panicked and did and said most of the wrong things. But in doing that and admitting my own faults to my daughter we discovered a connection. Birdwings has a good point, professional help may be good, but it can also be useless. My daughter finally reached out and agreed to go to a GP. The GP didn't even listen to her pleas, just told her EVERYone was anxious and in her own words completely invalidated her. However, we now go on regular walks, the neighbours are helping out by giving her paid chores like dog walking or baby sitting and these are great distractions and make her feel needed. Thanks for sharing your grief, best of luck and keep sharing we all need each other. ... View more

Wow! Snap! I have two teenage girls at home, no dad, no grandparents, some distant but not really engaged aunts, that's it. My eldest is anorexic and self harming. But it sounds like you are doing heaps of really good stuff. Well done! I can't even get my teen to talk about her issues, let alone see anyone, there's not hurry to this, I think we are in for the long haul. I'm just trying to get a blood test somehow as a starter - baby steps. ... View more

I'm raising two adopted teenagers and have been through a loooooong process of education and scrutiny to be successful in being able to adopt in the first place. For starters no child is really "our own" they are their own little cocktail of genes and all they need is love and support. Sounds like you are well on the way. Most of all enjoy it, even the tough times because parenting is seriously the toughest job of all, but it's also the most rewarding. ... View more