HI guys, Thank you for your responses, I really appreciate them. Just to update you, I am pretty steamed today. Last night I was researching the issue and came across a Specialist Psych who deals with difficult aspie teens. He has a "program" that gets good testimonials. So, without knowing much more about it, I asked my partner to check it out and buy it for download. She did. What has got my goat is that ALL the discipline methods I have wanted to implement are outlined exactly in this download (I do have some professional experience dealing with difficult teens). In fact, the name of the program is EXACTLY the name of the program I gave to this issue 12 months ago! I could not believe it! The same name - how does that happen????? At this stage, it seems to me that the system of mother and son is too tightly defensive of him. I can see it is a generational thing as my partners mother likes to baby everyone and cannot tolerate independence - which my partner HATES. I get the IDEA of equal opinions, but if that were the case there would be no wise people and there would be no experts. Sometimes, maybe often, one partner sees things more clearly. And I know this will piss alot of people of, but it is well established that aspies are known for their rigid thinking, their negative thinking and their lack of insight into interpersonal matters. SO why do they think their opinion is EQUAL!!!!!!!! What is the issue in saying, "I am probably a bit blind in this area. How about we go with your approach." I mean I can acknowledge there are areas I don't know, why can't others???????????? I DID WARN YOU I WAS STEAMED....so that's off my chest now. On another note, I did realize something...... As I was writing the first post, I realized that the boy finds it difficult to structure his inner and outer world. I have no idea, and probably can't, how difficult it is. What I know is that he "chooses" the easy way 99% of the time. His responses (put downs) are easy, his living (PS4) is easy, his eating (rubbish) is easy, his sport (nothing) is easy. Admittedly, he is now doing well at a school and SEEMS to be putting in effort there. But in every other aspect of his life - EASY. My concern is that the default ,easy path creates "bad" habits, and makes him unpleasant to live with. I don't see him developing into a functional adult unless we intervene. Whereas, my partner holds to the position that he will gain skills as he grows older, we just have to tolerate and accept the way of the sloth in the meantime. We have seen a Specialist Psych about the issue 2 years ago and his advice was that my partner had to toughen up - strong mum, not the good ship lollipop. That advice seems to have gone out the window. OK...sorry guys. I know I am just blowing off steam and not being constructive. I'll come back later when I'm more ready to be proactive. Solly
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