I would like to give all parents here an important warning from experience and hindsight. If you want your children to grow up to be kind and giving, you must make them be kind and giving as children. Not just let them see you are, they have to practice it. And you have to make them do things they don't want to do otherwise they grow up and don't want to do anything for anyone. I grew up with a very abusive mother who was angry and unfair all the time so I vowed to be the opposite to my kids. As a result I had 2 kids who I was extremely kind and loving and giving to them. I did everything for them and always believed when they grew up they would love me for all I did and was for them, and would treat me the same. How wrong I was. I never wanted them to have to do things they didn't want like dishes, cleaning rooms, etc etc. I felt it was unfair to make them do it if they didn't want to when I could just do it myself. How wrong I was. I never made them pay for anything with pocket money, and never made them pay board as teenagers. My daughter smashed my new uninsured car when she first started to drive (from driving in a way that I asked her every day to stop doing), and I didn't make her pay me back for it, as I didn't want her to have to use her money from work to do so. I just accepted the loss. So now fast forward a bit to now they are in their 20's and they have turned out to be selfish, ungiving, disrespectful, and mean to me. They won't do anything to help me, my daughter earns a lot of money and wastes it all on rubbish but gets annoyed if I ask her for $5 because I left my purse at home. And says make sure you give it back. Due to Covid-19 I am currently broke and unable to pay for a minor surgery I need but neither of my kids will help, even though they have plenty in the bank. My daughter has told me that when I get old I will have to go into a home because she doesn't think it's fair or old parents to intrude in their kids life when they are grown and have their own families. My son is living overseas temporarily and never calls or answers my messages, and my daughter never wants to be home. When she is home she is rude puts me down and talks to me like dirt. All of which I never did to her. I have learned that they don't want to give anything out of kindness because they never had to give anything. They don't want to do anything to help me because they never had to. Me setting the example and being so good to them did not make them be the same or appreciative of me. It made them disrespectful and Self centred. I would never dream of speaking to or treating my parents the way mine do. I have since asked a lot of parents with grown kids and all agree that being nice and fair and never making them do things they didn't want to ruins them and makes them not nice people. Even if you don't take my advice you will remember it when they are grown
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