Where to start, my once beautiful caring loving daughter who I was once so close to and she was with me .  I know and fully understand BPD I have attended many support forums and read and read and read) about it. But i fear now I have nothing left, my daughter is suicidal every time she becomes emotional distressed.  As a point of reference this has been going on for 5 years, with many suicide attempts .  She frequently self harms.  She has been hospitalised 5 times this year and each time she is released she seems to get worse.  What has changed more than anything else is her violence towards me (I am by no means a small man and can easily defend myself, but the idea of having to resort to violence against one of my children to defend myself I just cant do it).  After all these years my health has deteriorated to the point where a few weeks ago she turned up around 1am in a psychotic moment,  During the altercation I collapsed and pasted out, when I came too, my left side of my ribs were hurting, my daughter gone and a concerned neighbour standing by me.  He told me he had to physically hold my daughter as she was hurting me and yelling at me to wake up and stop making this about me.  I know why she is so angry with me she has told me in the past, when she was 16 and living with her mother she was sexually assaulted and she blames me for not protecting her although I lived 4 hours away at the time and did not find out this happened until 2 years later.  The mental health system trys. BUT, I just cant do it anymore, yes I have supports around me and I try to manage as best as I can, however each night I go to sleep scared .this has been a common statement from her.  I don't know why she wont accept help she has had so many opportunities, a community of family who were willing to help her (most now have backed off), and I feel (know) that I must do the same, a...but what is the alternate I just dont know anymore...recently after tests it was revealed that I have a heart condition and high blood pressure that could lead to stroke if i am not careful.. I tried explaining this to my daughter in the hope she would accept help, her only response was, "I better be in the will", which literally broke what was left of my heart... my beautiful girl who up to the age of 15 we were so close is now someone I almost hate...I am so lost ... View more