Hi aCluelessDad, Welcome to our parenting forum. I have a 16 year old son and 14 year old daughter but I was reading a Facebook post from a younger friend talking about juggling her 2 year old and baby and just trying to get enough sleep, and I remember those days well. I am a writer/marketing manager so am probably a similar personality type to your wife. I know myself that I get immersed in my writing and research and what I'm doing and can find it hard to balance more than one thing art a time. It is hard to wear all the different hats you have as a parent and it can be frustrating and difficult if you like to focus more deeply and not have your attention scattered everywhere.  Before I touch on possible book recommendations, I'd suggest ways of connecting with your wife like the three of you going for a walk. Do you each have a time each week where you can do something for yourself by yourself? She might like to go for a walk or run by herself or for a coffee with a friend without your son in tow. I don't know if you have someone who could mind your son, even for long enough for you to go out for coffee for an hour so you can chat. However, snatching some together time would help you to reconnect.  A book I really love is Khalil Gibran: "The Prophet" and he addresses universal themes of life such as marriage, the family, love. Here's a quote:  "Love one another, but do not make a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls".  I would encourage you to ask her how she is going , and if she starts talking about your son, gently guide her back to herself.  Lastly, after having kids, I  think for me in hindsight, there's a need to forge a new identity, that takes forward some of the things from before kids but also acknowledges how much has changed. There is no going back.  Another suggestion I would make, is that you give her a blank notebook and a pen for her to write. However, that might lead to her spending that time alone than with you but it would acknowledge the writer within. I have loads of blank journals and keep buying them.  I hope that helps and a bit of romance never goes astray either. Best wishes, Birdwings ... View more