Thank you so much for offered support. I finally feel there is somewhere I can go where others are experiencing similar life's challenges with their children. I feel I have no one to talk to about my worries, mainly as I am so embarrassed that we have ended up in this dysfunctual cycle. I do not like to tell close family or friends that things are this bad.   As for my daughter using a service online etc. My daughter did not attend the last support that I had put in place for her. She never bothered to show up. Very common in this age bracket. There has been suggestions to her for online support and/ or school counsellor  but refuses every bit of help. Goes on to tell me that she's the one that has to organise and get there as her father who has narcistic tendencies refuses to help her to her appointments or believe in mental health. I live 4 hours away from her as she moved to the city to be with her father. My ex-husband has not put me on the school documents so the principal refuses to speak to me. I am in the dark.  There was a boy she was seeing a year ago when she just started new school who I found out was supplying my daughter with weed. I phoned the school and passed on this information. The principle turned around and told me that that boy was a good student and had a good family and would not be involved with drugs even though I had txt messages to prove this. I did speak with a police officer who deal with drugs in schools, but he was told by the principle he was a good boy. Very frustrating.  My ex-husband refuses to speak to me and has done for several years. This makes it hard for both of us to be on the same page with our daughter. Our daughter is very aware of this situation and relies on this so we are both in the dark and she can never be caught out lying due to this non existent communication.  He refuses mediation, counselling , and form of talking to me about our daughter.  ... View more

Good evening,   Oh my goodness, I have a very similar situation. There are times, quite often that I feel I am very alone when it comes to my child and her not so great choices. My 16 yr old decided to move to the city to live with her father at the age of 15 from the country. Reasons- I was too strict. Yes well that is true to a point. You see my teenager slowing making changes that I knew were off. She was behaving unusual and being caught with things she should not have been. So..... moved to the city where dad leaves her at home for days at a time. Of course she loves it. Smokes weed, drinks alcohol and having underage sex.  My ex husband refuses to acknowledge any of her behaviors and refuses to speak to me. I feel my hands are tied. My daughter lies constantly. Gone from a high achieving student to a failing student.  I have tried to get her into therapy. Her father does not agree to this.  Nor does he have rules. She can do whatever she wants whenever she wants. I guess I am not offering advise as I have no idea what to do anymore.  If I try my daughter abuses me for being nosey and I get told to mind my own business.  I just need to remind her that she isnt 18 yet and I will be very much involved. She often plays the guilt trip so I give her money which I have now stopped and wants me to write her school papers which I will guide but I will not write. Its a battle most of the time.  I am thinking of you and your struggles.  Its strange but I actually work in the community services but when its happening to your own child its a different kettle of fish. What I will not do is change my values to suit hers. I often listen, and support however I feel I get played most of the time.  ... View more