Hi @steph, I relate so well to your instinct to help (i.e fix it, with me!), your awareness of not wanting to take away your son's choices or wants, and not wanting to look like the over-involved parent to potential employers. You're so not alone there, I wanted you to know.
My daughter's 15 and started working a few months ago, after many knockbacks. She has anxiety, bipolar and PTSD, has lived in her bedroom for the last 18 months, then got a job at a fast food restaurant!! She was excited, I was freaking out on the inside and could see this going very badly. My desire to call them to explain about my daughter ilnesses so they'd understand if she had any issues was so strong. I decided to talk to my daughter about it, and she told me she had it under control, she'd actually spoken to her manager herself, for the same reasons I'd wanted to.
She did have a bit of an episode a couple of weeks ago, and has only had 1 shift a week since, down from 4-5. Again, I want to call and find out why, but my daughter says she wants to deal with it.
So for me, I've decided to let my daughter handle it. If she needs me to step in, I will, but I'm trying to allow her some life experience.
I've been amazed and chuffed at how my daughter's managing it all, and I'm learning to trust her sensibilities.
You should be proud that your son has no issues with his birth mark, you've done a wonderful job. I grew up with a 'beauty spot' on my face, which I don't really notice. It was a bit of a shock finding out in my early 20's that it was actually a mole, haha. My mum had always told me it was my beauty spot that made me special, similar to what your son's grown up thinking about his birth mark. It's great!
I like @AeroGirl's suggestion about spreading the word about your son wanting to work. Word of mouth is a great way to advertise! Would your son be happy with you asking around for him?
I think the best way to help your son not lose his confidence, is to keep reminding him of the real difficulties in finding work faced by society. It is disheartening not hearing back or being knocked back, but it's nothing personal against him. We never know what's waiting for us around the corner
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