Hi @nohairleft, I am so sorry to hear of everything you have dealt with in the last few years. That must have been so challenging for you and I can only imagine the amount of heart break and stress that you feel. Your love and compassion towards your children is obvious and feeling helpless is such a difficult emotion to sit with, especially when you want to so desperately take the burden away from your children. You mentioned that you don't see your son - have you been able to video chat or talk on the telephone with him? It is great to hear that your friends are apart of your support network. Would you consider talking to a mental health professional? It is not uncommon for parents to need support as raising children is diffcult, especially if issues with mental health arise. They can help you navigate this situation and to process what is going on for you as a parent. We are here to listen ... View more