I am so lost and new to the realization that my daughter might seriously be suffering from ADHD. I do not know anyone that has this condition so the signs were not apparent to me until now that she has become a teenager I used to just think she was just strong headed, lazy, and just selfish and spoiled. I thought a raised a monster by always providing not just her needs but her wants (of course to the extent I was able to). I love her so much I have always done everything to provide and make her feel loved in part because I feel guilty that she is part of a active duty family that moves around so much so I always justified her behavior and sympathized/empathized with how hard it must be for her. During the national lockdown and having students do virtual school last year is when I realized as I saw her failing that she had not control she had the best intentions but she was incapable of following through. We were able to see someone to get her tested but it was only a few weeks before we had to move away and begin summer break. She was prescribed adderall but we only made it tot he point of increasing/ trying dosage to see what would work for her. During the summer we went back to what we call home ( where all of our family is at) and enjoyed summer before moving to our official new destination. When she is just around family and no peers she is great I don’t even notice her having difficulties but now we have been at our new location for 2 months and 2 weeks. She has officially been in school for 13 school days at first it was good she is new doesn’t have any friends so she would come home and tell me every little thing that happened that day but about 9 days ago she made a male friend who quickly turned into a boyfriend. I was open with her told her I would support the friendship/relationship as long as she introduced him and I meet his parents. I wanted to let her know that she could come to me and be open about this and not hide and be scared. But this past Friday I received a phone call making me aware that she had skipped a class so I start checking the school app and come to find out she had previously skipped but with no phone call I had no clue. I kept my composure asked her why and since I had not set any ground rules for that type of situation I set ground rules I said everyone makes mistakes but if this happens again I will be taking your phone there will be consequences. Then Sunday I wake up to her window open and her not in her room with a note on the bed. Fortunate for me teenagers are not that smart and she forgot that we have find my friends so I went straight over to where she was and picked her up. Took her phone, took down her door and quit my job. Yesterday I start cleaning the house trying to keep busy and my mind off and as I am cleaning her room I find empty beer cans (me and my husband enjoy adult beverages on the weekends after doing yard work) when one of her friends like to drink with her parents permission my daughter was always so against it would actually get upset that she would drink so I never thought I had to be more careful with alcohol in the house. She is such a healthy eater hasn’t ate pork since 4th grade. I am at a loss and I am so upset with myself I dropped the ball I saw her so happy and healthy during the summer I didn’t push as hard to get her in to be seen to get refills on the medication and now I am scrambling trying to get her help. I just wanted to believe that a change of state would change her state of mind she would journal and create planners of all the things she was going to accomplish in this new place and I really thought she could succeed without medication. I guess I am asking for guidance, support, tips. Should I put her door back on?…is taking her privacy counterproductive. Should I wait to get her back on medication before I decide if I should pull her from that school or ask that she be sent to a alternative school or should I pack up my kids and go to our home state and be around family. Should I drive to the boys house and speak to a adult (found out he is living with grandparents and has a shaky past as well as his sister with drugs)because no one came out when I went to go get her and have them call me if they ever see her there? I don’t want to loose her and I am scared because what I have seen from her is obsession with instant gratification. If your wondering what does she have to say to all of this is “sorry I should have not left that way, I could have asked for permission” for alcohol “ I just wanted to try it do t worry I won’t do it again” other than that she doesn’t respond, looks upset, and I think pretty much blames me and wishes I did t love her so she could do whatever she wants.
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