Hi there @Butterfly22 that sounds challenging, navigating pre-teens in a time when technology is ever-present is a very common concern shared here by other parents.
It sounds like you've had some good discussions about alternatives to screen time and winding down in the evenings. Setting boundaries can be so hard, I'm sorry to hear that it didn't go the way you hoped. I'm glad you decided to share what you're going through because you're not alone and there are some things that might help. We've got lots of articles with information and strategies that I'll link you to below.
We have a collection of content on "Technology and teenagers" which would be good to check out. One of the articles I thought you might be interested in were "Help your teenager take a break from technology".Happy reading, I hope it's helpful and that you're able to connect with other parents and hear what works for them.
Something that works for me when I'm spending too much time on screens is changing up my evenings by going to a park/beach having dinner outside, going somewhere new or trying a new hobby. Are there any activities your family enjoy doing together that could be a fun alternative to screen time?
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