Thank you for your reply, Emily-RO, and for your kind words. We have had a crazy week and weekend and, unfortunately, nothing has changed. I neglected to mention in my first post that my daughter has been self-harming. Like one of the posts I just read, when I found out about it, from her swim coach, my world as I knew it just fell around me. This was on the 18th June, not a date I will ever forget! I ended up heading straight to her school to speak to a school psychologist. This is a school of 4000+ students, and sadly the pshyc hardly blinked an eye!! He did assess that she was not a further danger to herself before she left school that day, and I spent the rest of that afternoon phoning around trying to secure a psychologist for her. We managed to get one, that is a drama and a story in itself, but she is hardly sharing any information with him, and this is months later! I know it is so important to get the 'right fit/person' to see your child, but how does one do that when you might have to wait up to 6 months to see a psychologist. And that is if you are lucky that they are still accepting new patients. We told her last week and this weekend that we know she is gay (as I mentioned before, not an issue for either my husband or myself). She went to the beach with her 'girlfriend' on Sunday, after lying to us about how she was getting there and who she was going with. We texted that we know she is gay and this is fine with us, just her behaviour and lies are not acceptable. She texted back that she will continue to lie until we accept her going out with this girl. We have never been given a chance to talk about this. She is still refusing to speak to me (until she wants something or it is absolutely necessary). I refused to take her to training at 5 this morning, not because she is gay but because she is lying to us, and told her she is not allowed to go. She still got up and planned to cycle there. Consequences mean nothing to her. I don't know who this person is any more, and haven't known for a long time now. We have told her that she is not to leave the house for school any earlier than necessary, she banged her way out of the house 25 minutes earlier that she should have. I said that if she leaves I will not take her to training this evening yet we are so afraid of pushing her back to self harm. She has an appointment with a psychiatrist this week, I don't know what to expect nor do I know how to react to anything anymore. I try not to be reactive with consequences for horrible behaviour, but take a deep breath and talk to my husband so that she knows any boundaries we set are not just being set by me. But the boundaries don't mean anything to her anymore. We spoke with her school principal earlier this morning as we just want to know what our options are for her schooling. I know that changing schools is not the answer, but we are just trying, for want of a better word, to shock her into listening to us. We will hold off on presenting anything until after she meets with the Psychiatrist. We are just at our wits end of the disdain and disrespect with which she is treating this whole family. Once again, thank you for reading/listening to my story. I know I am not the only one experiencing challenges, which is both really sad and comforting.
... View more
Offline
