I am 65 years with metastatic cancer. My son has BPD and ADHD. I am a single parent with my ex abandoning my kids when they were son 6 years and daughter 8 years old. My son has injured himself so badly over the last few years (attempted suicide, self harm etc). I have difficulties with my own condition and am exhausted from the worry, stress and abuse that I have been putting up with. I am rely worried that when I pass he will suicide. Pain specialists have taken him off pain relief cold turkey and he is banned from mental health places at atleast 2 hospitals. Because he uses marijuana and is covered in tattoos they think he is trying to milk the system, of course he gets abusive though not physically and they won't put up with it. Everytime he says he is going to kill hi.self I take him to ER they don't do anything. He is slowly maturing but it is so tiring for me and him. He has a strong extended family but some including his mother really don't want much to do with him. I see the lovely little boy in there but it is very rare. I weep quite often. I get told to cut him off but I can't. I want to have as much of a relationship as I can, I dont have time to wait for him to sort it out (if possible). He has been seemingly open to DBT but the mental health nurse i talked to last time I took him to ER said he is not ready to do it. This of course upset me a bit as I have been trying to get him to do it. I understand he is the only person who can actually initiate any rehabilitation. I think recently he realised that there is no medical cure for his disorder, and he seems more open to it my problem is I am worried if he does it too early he may fail. I have my life sorted except for my son, but it is a BIG thing to have to deal with.
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