Hi there and thanks for your kind words. As far as support, it's just my husband and I. We are actually working with an Intensive In Home Therapy team 3-4 days a week. I have already told them that I know she can't be diagnosed yet but we need to try some DBT or CBT. As far as my outlets .. I knit, enjoy puzzles, walking and go to therapy myself. We are prison guards of sorts so we can't really leave the house together my husband and I. We have never been put in touch with other adoptive parents. As far as herself harm goes, it's been a month or so since she last self-harmed. There is never a warning, she doesn't say anything and the smallest thing will set her off. A simple, can you please clean up your mess from dinner? could set her off. She then will say it's my fault she self harms, because I annoy her.
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I'm new here and having some internal struggles regarding my daughter. I'll try to keep it short. My daughter is 16 and has struggled with frequent mood swings and depression a good part of her life. She is adopted - came to us as a toddler and was labeled at high risk for developing mental disorders. Without divulging too much, she has undergone a lot of trauma from the time she was born. She exhibited attachment issues as a toddler as well. Her dad and I divorced many years ago. She lives with myself, my husband and our other daughter. She's always been in therapy and we are now going through a more intensive therapy. According to her new doctor and the therapy team we are working with, she exhibits signs of having BPD. We are awaiting the psychiatric evaluation and I know she can't be fully diagnosed at her age but it semi explains why meds and talk therapy have never really worked. Things have gotten worse over the last couple years. She lies, cheats, steals and manipulates. There's no empathy, no regard for others and the behavior is destroying our family. It's a constant feeling of walking on egg shells with no idea what's going to set her off. I could write a book of all the things we've been through, the therapy, reward systems, positive parenting, contracts we've written as a family or for herself, the running away, outbursts of anger, self harming, stealing from us and her friends. Completely disrespectful to any authority. I'm at the end of my rope... We are not disrespectful people and did not raise either of our kids that way . My other daughter is a completely different animal. The constant stress my husband and I are under are effecting us so deeply. I know she has been through a lot-more than most adults. We are trying to help her but she is resisting the therapy and says they're all stupid. I don't think I can do this anymore and am ready to send her to live with her dad. Has anyone ever felt this way? Like giving up? I feel like a failure for even thinking about this, but I am so exhausted and f*$&ing lost.
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