Mum of 4 ranging between 3 and 18. Older 2, have abusive behaviours like 18f explosive anger with a history of damaging property, gaslighting and anxiety. 14m has stonewalled, given silent treatment when talking about changes needed or mistakes made. A result for the past 4 years there have been minimal changes to behaviours. I have turned myself inside out trying to the best parent to compensate, as a result am almost constantly unwell and burnt out. Younger 2 (3 and 6) are beginning to settle in to same behaviours. Family all interstate, no friendships due to isolation, I have sought counselling and re-engagement I to the community but home dynamics not changing. Infact the more I re-engage with society the worse home environment appears. I do everything. 18f will not commit to anything, she was washing dishes after dinner but usually is very vocally annoyed so to keep peace for younger ones I do it. 14m will not do anything unless asked. He will do if asked but has to be reminded because will 'forget' after 5 minutes. We have 6 monthly rental inspections, each time I ask for help, at minimum for the older 2 to put away what they use and encourage the younger 2 aswell but they don't. Each time I end up doing everything including repairs from 18f. I am studying externallly so it's an exhausting 2 weeks with myself always sick for about 4 days at the end. So now, 8 days out and asking for help, my son stares at me, my daughter changes the topic, the writing is on the wall and it's the same as always but worse as the younger 2 start copying. I am considering not repairing the holes my daughters made, not doing a thing except my studies and daily parental basic requirements and HOPING that we get evicted. That it will dissolve our unit and see myself move in with just the younger 2 and the 18f can fend for herself and the 14m can go to his father's or grandmothers. EVERYTHING is telling me to throw my hands in the air but it's heartbreaking. Things were getting better for a bit when my youngest 2s dad started actually spending time with them outside my home but he managed to get back in to seeing them here and will stay over. My older 2 don't respect me because of his presence I understand that. I feel very trapped and each time I stand up for what is right and in our best interests, collectively or individually, I am shot down for the benefit of those considering their own needs. I'm worried for my babies and worried for me. Need perspective and happy to answer questions.
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