Thank you for your response. My BF and I have sat down and discussed everything in detail. Except my level of discomfort with his kids. He has mentioned that he would like me to work in my relationship with his daughter but he knows how manipulative she is and how difficult it is to work on this. I have considered trying couples therapy to help work through these issues. We ultimately decided to hold off on buying a house together for another year but we both have mixed feelings about waiting. Obviously he and I love each other and want to be together as much as possible but it comes down to the kids. He feels that he is doing what’s in their best interest when it comes to his ex and her level of control. And I’m not okay with many of the things she controls. Like most women that fall into a new relationship I’ve pushed most of my friends away and I avoid talking to them about my relationship issues. Maybe a therapist would be a better idea. Rules and boundaries don’t sit well with his kids since he is bad about implementing then and following through with punishments. He also procrastinates so much it makes things difficult. I have my own rules with my boys that are followed fairly well but they are going through puberty so we are hitting a few walls at the moment. But when they are all together my 12yo tries to exclude himself or sit as far away as possible. My older one does very well with his 6 yo surprisingly but doesn’t care for his daughter. It’s a lot to blend a family with so many differences. ... View more

I completely feel this situation. I have 2 boys 12 and 14. My boyfriend has a 14 yo girl, a 12 yo boy and a 6 yo boy. Our 12 yo boys were great friends before we met and we didn't even know it. We are both divorced 4 years. His ex is incredibly controlling and they still talk every single day. We have been together almost 2 years and have been discussing buying a house together. My problem is...I can't stand his kids. They are incredibly loud all the time, clingy (ALL OF THEM WILL HANG ALL OVER HIM). We both have 50/50 custody so every other weekend we have all the kids and every other Monday/Tuesday we would have all the kids. Then every other Weds/thurs we would just have his kids. My boys hate the idea of moving in together. His kids are constantly bouncing off the walls and my boys are very chill. And the sound of his kids voices are like nails on a chalkboard to me. I cringe when I know we have to spend time together which has been my idea to get all the kids used to each other. He thinks I have a harsh opinion of his children and I've explained that they are used to being able to act however they want and I wouldn't allow alot of their behaviors once we lived together. They don't do chores, leave messes everywhere, the daughter is constantly getting caught being inappropriate on social media that she hides or sending photos to boys on her phone. His 12yo son is okay but has major ADHD untreated and he and his ex refuse to put him on medication. Not to mention his exwife is engaged to a very wealthy man and flaunts their money constantly so the kids ask for expensive things when we do get together that I refuse to pay for. He is planning on proposing and I love this man more than anything. But I have gone so far as to say we may have to wait until his kids are out of high school before we move in together. He is great with my boys and they like him alot but have also voiced that they would go live with their father if we were to move in together which breaks my heart. I don't know why Im posting this other than to say I am so glad I am not alone. It's very helpful to read so many others dealing with the same feelings. ... View more