Hi @Struggletown That’s quite a situation you’ve got there. The dilemma looks to be that you’re concerned that if you support your partner disciplining your children that it could affect your relationship with your two children (now and into the future). You wrote “I am a chill and laid back lady. I have a lot of patience”, and so my question to you is: why do you need to change your discipline style at all? There are many children out there who would love to have a mother who has a lot of patience. And changing your discipline style now — when your children are 15 and 10 — might be too late in the day to implement. Firstly, your children already know your style of discipline, and for you to change your style now will be too noticeable. If you side with someone whom they consider ‘mean’, then you by proxy also become ‘mean’. If you stop defending them, then they will begin to feel less protected and less supported in your house. Therefore, and by default, the only place where they would feel protected, and supported, would be at their father's house. Secondly, if you were to change, then you will know within yourself (on an internal level) that you’re not being your genuine and authentic “chill and laid back” self. So not only are you causing conflict with your two children, but you’re additionally causing an internal rift within yourself — all in an attempt to appease someone else's abandonment issues (for which you aren’t responsible at all). Kind regards, SkyBlue
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