Hi @missymoo13 , welcome to the ReachOut community! It takes strength to reach out for support, and your willingness to connect here shows just how resilient you are as a parent. It's clear that you care deeply about your children and their well-being.  I’m really sorry to hear about the challenges you and your family have faced and are currently facing. Dealing with family violence and the subsequent impacts on your children sounds incredibly painful and overwhelming, and I wanted to acknowledge your courage in facing such difficult circumstances. It's understandable to feel let down by systems that were meant to protect your family. Your commitment to self-care amidst these circumstances is admirable. Taking care of yourself, no matter how small the gesture, is crucial during tough times. Your tip for parents navigating the teenage years is insightful and reflective of your understanding of the importance of giving teens the space to grow and discover themselves. It can be really important to strike that balance between offering support and granting independence.  I encourage you to create your own thread here to share more about your journey and to connect with other parents who may be going through similar challenges. And I wish you all the luck in finding connection and support within the ReachOut community ... View more

Thank you so much everyone for your responses. I think the peer pressure thing could certainly be the case. His friends are good at sport but not to the same level as my son. One of the training sessions is a 3hour slot on a Saturday right in the middle of the day. I think FOMO (fear of missing out)  would be the case here.   We tried really hard to persuade him as did his coach who is also very disappointed. He would not budge but I am hoping he has some regrets. He does play with the boys who would be in the rep team every Monday so we will make sure he still does this.  We made some more progress with honest conversations as he has now admitted to me that he has tried dope with his friends. I stayed calm and listened as you said asked a few questions like did he like it, how often, does he want to do it again. I was surprised that even though I was devastated that he has tried it I actually felt better that he has admitted it. Now I feel we can have conversations around the issues with this and maybe some strategies to help him make better choices. He is more open to discussing things too as he can see how worried we are but that we didn't go mad. Of course now when he goes out I will worry more. He did tell me he gets bored and that it was something to do. Any ideas of what to say to this>??   Thanks   :) ... View more