Thanks for the reply and the article! Yes I've tried to talk to her about her withdrawal from us but she just shrugs and says she wants to do her own thing. This is why I haven't pushed it or tried to force her because I know it's important for her to develop her independence towards friends and away from me. She still seems to be very connected to her friends, she talks about them regularly and they text all the time. She often plays video games with them online too so I don't think she has been withdrawing from them too. And yes her teacher did raise concerns before the interview, he sent me an email strongly urging me to make sure I could attend the interview as he was worried about her behaviour and wanted to make sure he got to talk to me. He mostly said he knew she had a lot more potential than she was showing and wanted to work with me to make sure she didn't continue as she was. She's apparently been quite rude in class (sounds like a continuation of the stuff she wrote on her assessment) and encouraging other students to join in with her too. She's always been a VERY headstrong kid. And she's been through some stuff too. I'm divorced from her Dad (and we shared custody 70/30 since she was 5) who she has always had a very strained relationship with as he can be quite controlling which doesn't go well with her headstrong personality. Then nearly 2 years ago he told her he didn't know how to make her happy and said she could live with me full-time, and just relinquished his custody of her. She was very angry but also devastated as well, although she wouldn't admit that now. I worry that I have spent years overcompensating for his harsh methods by being quite lax with her myself and that now she thinks she doesn't ever have to listen to me at all. I also worry that she has built this wall up around herself to try protect herself and that she won't even let me in anymore :(
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Hi, My daughter is 13.5 and I'm struggling with her a lot. She spends all her time in her room and only comes out for dinner, and sometimes to grudgingly do chores. She's started refusing to participate in any family activities including weekly movie-night (I've tried letting her choose the movie but she says she just doesn't want to be with us). I've always had a reasonable relationship with her and I thought of myself as quite approachable, I don't go off the deep end over things and tend to try talk things out with her. But she is refusing to talk to me about anything and just walks away and shuts her door in my face when I try to discuss anything. For example we had parent-teacher meetings last night and she has slipped from an A average to getting Ds and one teacher showed me an assessment where she had drawn pictures all over the sheet, and written things like "I already know this, do you think I'm stupid?" in the answer boxes. When we got home she asked if she was in trouble and I said no, but that I did want to talk to her about why she had behaved like that and what I could do to help. She groaned and said she hated me trying to be involved and didn't want to listen to a lecture, went to her room and refused to let me in. I backed off because I didn't want to force my way and create another issue to deal with before getting calm, and finding some advice! She is still so young and I really want to try find the best way to deal with things before she gets older and has more dangerous opportunities.
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