The toughest thing for me right now is that my eldest does not want to get help, and that when I find a psych and make an appt she reminds me that she is an adult and she can choose to just not go. My marriage was great before, but I have been depressed and anxious and don’t want to socialise. I pretty much stay at home, because I have zero energy. I will only go out if my kids are with me (at least one) I also feel guilty having fun while they are miserable. My husband and I are both super focused on our girls atm so there has been no dinner or movie dates and all conversations are about our girls. We are like two people living in the same house, both stressed and both trying to keep afloat. We are drained and we both feel shame and guilt . My youngest has ADHD and is medicated and very forthcoming with her psych. She wants to stop her SH, my eldest just tells me I’m overreacting and that she hasn’t got a problem. Sorry to hear about your children.. are they getting better? ... View more

My youngest has ADHD with high anxiety and depression. She was self harming, but once I started medicating her she stopped and her moods stabilised somewhat. I felt like I was making progress with her. She started again once my eldest told her about her own SH. My youngest wants to stop SH and is already working towards that. My eldest started to develop disordered eating from late 2021. It became worse my mid 2022 . While trying to frantically find someone to help her with this, she tells me she is self harming. When I asked her she was was not eating, it was because she felt like she was just average, so she needed to be the best at something, so she aimed to be the skinniest. When I asked why she was SH it was because she wanted the world to see how she feels inside. She flaunts her scars at the beach, and when I am with her, and I can see them it tears me apart. I’ve since tried to get her to see another psych and her response is why I’m an adult now and I can make my own choices. She doesn’t feel like her SH is bad but rather her way of expressing herself. She is mad at me for being so upset, and that I should hide my feelings and just be happy around her! I ask her what she’s using and she laughs at me and tells she is not going to tell me. Dealing with this is so painful. My physical and mental health has deteriorated drastically in the last 2 months. I am deeply ashamed as I feel I have caused this. Not sure what I have done? And to be honest I’m so angry at my eldest daughter for not wanting to get help. ... View more