15yr old daughter in love with a boy who sells and smokes weed.

[Mommabear3]

My daughter is 15 yrs old, she’s been talking to a boy her same age. He smokes weed and is beginning to sell it. I’ve been around this boy and he is very nice and treats her well, but as a parent I don’t want her around this lifestyle. I’ve taken her phone away before because of this boy sending her videos of him smoking, this time he just mentions to her that he is doing “drops” and has posted on social media the stuff he sells. I don’t want to get her in trouble for things others are doing. She’s an awsome daughter, does well in school and is always so helpful. On their texts I can see she doesn’t enable him to do this and sorta ignores when he mentions he’s doing “drops” meaning he’s dropping off weed. I honestly don’t know what to do, do I take her phone away? Do I give her less freedom on her phone? This kid no longer goes to her school and his brother plays in the soccer team my other children play in so he bumps into us at soccer and they will interact there but I don’t let her go out to hang out with friends. I’m stuck on how much do I let her be around this kid, or if I should even intervene.

[Taylor-RO · Accepted solution]

Hi @Mommabear3,

Thanks for sharing with us. I can understand why you are feeling concerned about this boy, regardless of how well he treats your daughter. It sounds like your daughter is quite open with you as she updates you on his behaviour which says a lot about your relationship with her. I am not sure if this is something that you have already done but it can help to provide education about the impact of drug use. It can also help to express your concern for her well-being in an open and non-judgemental manner, so that she still feels like she can share with you. It is important for communication to remain open and honest. It is so normal to want to protect your daughter, at the end of the day, you are her parent and that is apart of your responsibility. Nobody wants to see their child hurt or in a negative situation. What have you considered doing in this situation? How do you feel about the involvement of the school, police, or the boy's parents?

[Taylor-RO · Accepted solution]

Hi @Mommabear3,

Thanks for sharing with us. I can understand why you are feeling concerned about this boy, regardless of how well he treats your daughter. It sounds like your daughter is quite open with you as she updates you on his behaviour which says a lot about your relationship with her. I am not sure if this is something that you have already done but it can help to provide education about the impact of drug use. It can also help to express your concern for her well-being in an open and non-judgemental manner, so that she still feels like she can share with you. It is important for communication to remain open and honest. It is so normal to want to protect your daughter, at the end of the day, you are her parent and that is apart of your responsibility. Nobody wants to see their child hurt or in a negative situation. What have you considered doing in this situation? How do you feel about the involvement of the school, police, or the boy's parents?

[Mommabear3]

Thank you for your open and sincere advise. I often am in the middle of I should follow my motherly instincts or if what I set as rules will affect her in the long run. You reassured me that’s it’s ok as a parent to protect her and as her mom I do feel the need to express what it is I don’t like about this boy. She is very understanding so I don’t see it going wrong. I will also talk to his mom since I do know her to try and save this boy from a lifestyle that he won’t be able to run away from when he gets to deep into it. Thanks again 🙏🏼