09-30-2017 12:04 PM
Hi @Memoryschild welcome to ReachOut! It's hard to assess whether your 12 year old's obsession with babies and child birth is 'normal' or not but the great thing is that you are both very open with each other. It seems like it's the foremost topic on her mind. Is she interested in other things or has other hobbies?
The one thing that got me worried was the video you found of her (the danger of it getting in the wrong hands). Maybe you could gently explain to her your worries of the video not remaining private and that you're very concerned for her safety. If you've already had a talk to her about pornography, there's a chance she'll understand your concerns.
09-30-2017 03:44 PM
I think you may have to focus on your concern about her videos getting in the wrong hands and that childbirth is a grownup thing to do. Just from my personal point of view, while it may be okay for some children in tribal cultures to watch childbirth, it's not very common in other parts of the world so it makes sense you're uncomfortable with the situation. Clearly she does have a good sense of this not being common because she has not shared it with her friends. The conversation will be uncomfortable but the focus is on her wellbeing. You're not judging or punishing her.
09-30-2017 06:32 PM
Hi @Memoryschild, welcome to the forum. It's great that you have such open and honest communication with your daughter, that's always a bonus.
Have you considered talking to a pediatrician or a counsellor about your daughter's obsession? I'd be concerned about her privacy and safety taking such personal videos as well. Childbirth and pornography are very different things but am I correct in what I've understood that you feel there's not a clear separation here?
Do the girls play 'birth' in your presence? Trust in your own intuition and if you're concerned about the impact on your youngest there is no harm in intervening if the little one doesn't want to play.
I agree with @Mona-RO that your conversation might be uncomfortable, but it's about safety and wellbeing. Obsession over anything isn't healthy for any of us, and something I'd suggest looking into.
Good on you for reaching out for help. It's not always easy to do.
09-30-2017 09:39 PM
Hey @Memoryschild, I'd be concerned that the play is hidden from you. How old is the younger daughter?
I don't think it's about punishing your daughter, but looking into the reasons she has this obsession and what healthy boundaries you can put in place.