08-22-2021 10:02 PM
Welcome along. I can relate to much of what you're saying. I have a 17 year old son and a 15 year old daughter and we're stuck in the Greater Sydney Lockdown. My daughter is not connecting much with school at all. She's in Year 10. A friend of hours hopped on zoom the other day and he teaches Year 10 and they're driving him round the bend and he's ringing parents tomorrow. That was reassuring aside from the face that so many kids are having their education badly affected. I am focusing on making sure my daughter stays afloat atm. She's had a number of physical health issues and was in hospital just before lockdown and is just starting to get back on her feet.
I've been seeing that man in the boy behaviour in my son most of his life.
You mentioned about your son being in the process of outgrowing the interests you do together. I've been feeling that a bit myself. We live near the beach and used to go down there with the kids. However, they now go with their friends and Mum is uncool. I don't want their friends seeing me in my swimmers either. That said, we could go to a different beach even within the lockdown limits.
My parents both took up golf as their retirement sport so they'd have a common interest. That worked for awhile but dad is so much better than mum and she went back to her music. It's not that easy to keep those connections and common interests going but we need to keep evolving and reaching out, and perhaps look back on the memories together in photos. I am a very sentimental person so I know where you're coming from, and I think it's okay to be a bit reflective as our kids grow and leave childhood behind.
09-10-2021 09:57 AM
Mum of two teens and wife of a cancer patient, struggling to deal with situation. As I work full time, dealing with husband's chronic illness (multiple) and looking after whole family is taking toll of my mental health now.
09-13-2021 02:27 PM - edited 09-13-2021 02:29 PM
Hi @mum70 and welcome to the forums!
I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's cancer diagnosis and illnesses - it sounds like your family is going through a really tough time right now.
It must be really hard for you sometimes having to take care of everyone else, without much left in reserve for yourself - do you have any supports you can turn to, or anything you like to do that helps you to nurture yourself?
If you'd like to start a new thread of your own, please feel free to here - we'd be very happy to 'chat' there too.
We're really glad you joined and we're here for you any time.
09-14-2021 04:41 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's cancer diagnosis and how that also impacts on you and your family. In our family, the shoe is on the other foot. I have an acute life-threatening auto-immune disease which affects my muscles and lungs, and a while back I had a round of chemo to treat it. 't mention how long your husband has been fighting cancer or much about his prognosis. However, I've turned to the Cancer Council myself for advice on how to manage things with our kids, and they were very helpful. hey have some great printed resources and also counselling services. Their advice was always to keep the kids in the loop to explain that treatment was available. That something could be done.
My health has had a huge impact on our family, and husband and kids when I'm not well that they don't need. ever, they are not the only teens in this situation and I do think it's good for them to think about someone other than themselves however, something less dire would be better.
Our marriage has also suffered but we're still together. Sometimes, that's because we've had nowhere else to go. I guess neither of us blame me for the situation. We put it fair and square on the disease.
Self care is important for you at this time and having someone you can talk with and also vent about your feelings away from your husband. Somewhere you can say whatever without needing to be nice, grateful stepping on egg. Exploding if you need to.
I don't know if you've joined Carers and your teens are also young carers and can get counselling and support.
Also is covid an issue for you? It's a massive problem for us and needing to isolate. Well, we're in the Greater Sydney lockdown anyway. It's hard enough to deal with the disease and covid is a double-whammy.
I hope that helps and feel free to keep coming back.
09-19-2021 04:00 PM
Hello @lifeconcernsme , welcome to the forums! It's really nice to hear that you are proud and supportive of your daughter and that you have some awesome coping strategies that you can rely on! We're really glad you joined and we're here for you any time.