07-03-2021 06:16 PM - last edited on 07-05-2021 09:58 AM by Janine-RO
I am have boundry issues with my 15 yr old daughter, she has just started dating and wants him visiting in her room. I have suggested that we keep the visits in the lounge for now and will revise the situation when i feel a bit more comfortable about having her boyfriend in our house . She obviously is not happy and neither is he.They both are pushing my boundaries and im feeling guilty for them being upset, i dont get it,i have been gracious to letting the boyfriend in and it feels unappreciated ??
07-03-2021 09:30 PM
Hi @Matthews, thanks for your post. It sounds like you are in a bit of a tricky situation. Boundaries are different in each family and it is common for teenagers to want to challenge the rules. It is great to hear that you are keeping the communication open and trying to be reasonable with your daughter. I am wondering if setting a time limit to reviewing your decision might help? You could discuss this option with your daughter.
I also want you to know that you aren't alone and other parents on our forum have experienced difficulties with boundaries too - you can read about it here. We also have some articles which discuss boundary setting which you might find helpful here. We are an Australian service so don't have resources for New Zealand, however, I have found a service called Parent Line which may be relevant for you.
10-12-2021 11:25 AM - edited 10-12-2021 11:34 AM
10-12-2021 04:58 PM
@Toby98 thank you for sharing your thoughts - that's definitely an interesting perspective and one I hadn't thought of myself. I totally agree that safe opportunities to learn consent and boundaries are so important.
Your post has made me wonder whether we do sometimes shelter our young people too much from having those healthy learning opportunities - just through trying to be protective parents.
Speaking for myself, you've definitely given me a lot of food for thought!