08-09-2021 10:57 AM
Im a single parent of an adopted teenager, 13 nearly 14, I am having trouble dealing with the attitude that is projected towards me and how she speaks to me. If she doesnt get her own way on things then the stuff she can say to me is so challenging and horrible.
Everything is my fault (apparently), she doesnt accept any responsibility for her own actions, its always someone elses fault (usually mine) .
As a single parent there is no back up for me and so no-one to step in and say "dont speak to your mother like that" or just deal with her moods. She is argumentative and says hurtful things, that really start to get to you after a while. Recently she started asking about her biological family and I thought it was time to tell her the truth but unfortunately the truth hurts and she doesnt like what she's been told, so therefore "I am lying!" Im at breaking point as I dont know how to deal with her and I feel very defeated... I dread when she's at home because she can be so unpredictable with her moods and can explode at any time and I cop it from any angle. I just dont know what to do anymore...
08-09-2021 04:46 PM
Hi @Missm12 welcome to the ReachOut forums!
I'm hearing that this is a really tough time for both you and your daughter.
Do you have any services or supportive people around you who can help - for example, are there any family or friends who your daughter has a good relationship with who might be able to offer both of you some time out?
Being a sole parent and a parent to a child with trauma and/or disrupted attachment requires a lot of resources.
Do you have any support specifically for you - for example: services that can help, other adoptive parents you can connect with, or a counsellor you can debrief with?
Re: Communicating with your daughter, we have some great information on our website here that might be helpful. I've also heard that therapeutic parenting can be helpful for children with trauma or disrupted attachment.
It takes a lot of courage to seek help, and I'm so glad you did.