I have 2 gorgeous children - 14 yr old girl and 12 yr old boy.  Their Dad and I have been divorced since they were 4 & 2.  Both their Dad and I have remarried so step parents have been part of their norm.  They have a great relationship with their step dad (my husband) and his kids (their step sister and brother).  The issue is their step mum who started life as their nanny (yeah I know!!!).  Anyway, since my daughter went to high school, (she is now in Ye 9), I have noticed increasing levels of anxiety and pressure she was putting herself under.  She is an extremely high achiever and drives herself very hard (as I do), so I put it down to settling into high school etc.  in year 8 however, we went through the horror of an eating disorder, which thankfully she has recovered from (physically anyway).  She still however has anxiety around food and keeping her weight in check (she is a healthy weight right now).  About 3-4 months ago after me pushing constantly with "are u ok?  Anything you want to talk about?", she broke down and told me that her step mum "was being mean to her and her brother".  It was huge for her to tell me and she made me promise that I would not interfere and assured me she was talking to her dad and he was "fixing it".  I do not want to misplace this huge trust she has put in me but she needs support in managing this - her tolerance is reducing and she is now saying "she is sick of it and she has had it" but still doesn't want me talking to her Dad.  Both children assure me the step mum has never physically done anything but she says awful demeaning things to them and about their dad.  She has also always spoken badly about me with nothing from my house being allowed inside their house!!!!  My view is she has lost control of them now they are growing up and has a mountain of her own issues.  My question is how to best support my kids to get away from this toxic woman.....ps they adore their Dad.  Looking forward to your insights ... View more