Hi @jajealch, I’m sorry to hear your family are going through such a difficult time. You’ve been given some great advice on the forum. Research shows most boys that self harm feel they don’t belong, may it be at school, friendship groups etc or a breakup with their girl friend or disagreement with friends. What I find works with teenagers especially with boys are mentors. They need to be older than them someone that’s gone through those tough years that can share their experience and offer advice. This could be a close family friend, relative or even a teacher. Is their someone that he used to look up too? If so this person could help by listening and offering advice. As teenagers love food, have you tried suggesting going for a burger or whatever he fancies to get him out of his room? He may feel like chatting, he may not but getting him out of his room into some fresh air will do him a world of good. My teenager are I do most of our talking over a meal I wish you all the best Please take care of yourself 🌼 ... View more

Hi @MazzieP Thank you for letting us know how your all going! When the removalists come and pack etc. is when we all realise it’s really happening! I think you handled it really well and giving him space to process it all is a great idea. Fingers crossed with the school at the end of the week! Wishing you and your family all the best 😁 ... View more

Hello, I’m so sorry to hear your 11 year old step daughter isn’t sleeping. This is a difficult and exhausting time for the family. During your chats with her does she mention any difficulties she may be facing at school with friends or teachers? Or what her nightmares are about? I have my son that wakes me up most nights, initially we thought is ts nightmares but we very quickly found out he was anxious about school and keeping up with the work load. We now see a therapist that has help him immensely. Some of the tips given were, prepare for Bed time 20 min before, draw a picture of your fears and rip it up! Soft classical music, no iPad, tv etc. We also started a guided meditation that helped him relax and get ready for sleep. We both enjoyed that one! I also found this program online that helped me understand why children wake up It’s called, ‘Help Your Child Sleep Alone’ The Goodnight Worry Program for Bedtime Fears. Once you read this it will help you put some new rules in place and hopefully help you all sleep better at night. For this to work successfully her mum will need to follow the new sleep routine as well. A family meeting would be a great way to chat about a plan that works well in both homes. Once you all come to an agreement then you can chat to your child about the new bedtime routine. Loads of love and hugs will be needed during as she may feel sad and uncomfortable with the change. I hope this helps and please keep us update 🌼 ... View more

Hi @MazzieP I've moved with my two kids several times within Australia and overseas due to my husbands work commitments    When my eldest was 14 and my youngest 9, we moved back to Sydney, initially they were very excited! BUT within 2 weeks of starting a new school reality hit hard! They started missing their friends and thanks to social media my daughter could see her friends having a wonderful time and she felt very sad that she couldn't join them. So we got the 'I Hate it here!! Why are we here!!! Can we move back etc.    If I had my time again I would have them chat to the school counsellor/school mentor as they are great at asking the right questions and getting teenagers to talk about feelings and how to prepare themselves for a new school/new city etc. If that isn't an option, asking a close family member or friend to ask general questions about moving to London will hopefully get him to open up.   You mentioned that you're moving back to London. Do you have family and friends there? If so, chatting to your son about them will ease any worry he may have. Organising a get together within the first couple weeks would also help and give him something to look forward to.   Teenagers generally don't like chatting, so be weary of any behavioural changes, as this can be a sign of not coping and unhappiness.    Happy to answer any other questions you may have.       ... View more

@Jess1-RO Thank you so much for sharing, I really enjoyed reading this post! I meditate daily, preferably at night and with my tween and teen. They see the benefits of meditation and even tell most famous people regret not learning this skill earlier❗️ I believe in the quote monkey see monkey do. If we’re meditating they will give it a try eventually 😍 ... View more

Hi @shelby71, Being a teenager is tough. They have loads going on socially and academically. Their beautiful brains are re wiring which causes them to sleep more, become moody and do silly impulsive things.  I recommend all teenage Parents to read, The Teenage Brain by Francis E Jensen. This book helped me understand them a whole lot better.    Regarding your daughters behaviour I believe she's grieving the loss of her Dad and coming to terms with adjusting to a new school and new city. When we moved to a new city my daughter hated her school and all the girls in it! She would come home in a bad mood and ask to go back to her old school with friends  she Loved! We asked her to be patient  and to give it a least 6 months. She tried her best to fit in etc but she was unhappy! That's when we moved her to another school and Thankfully we saw a change.It hasn't been all nice and rosie but at least she was able to make friends she could relate to! You mentioned your daughter was a straight A student and sports champion at her previous school , could the new school be at a higher academic level and this is making her feel not so good about herself! Has she mentioned she dislikes something in particular?  Making new friends can be really hard at 15, maybe the only friend she has is the girl shes ditching school with. Is there anyone in your community, family member, a family friend that she feels connected to or enjoys spending time with, that may be able to influence her attend school? I found discussing what they want to do after they finish school and making clear connections between them really helps them want to try harder and attend school. I took my daughter to a University open day where she sat in lecture theatres, chatted to Professors and Uni students really helped her want to study harder and set clear goals for her future. @Lan-RO gave some great suggestions which I found very useful.   I really hope I've been able to help you with some of my experiences.   Please look after yourself, self care is really important.  My favourite thing to do is to walk near nature.   Please let us know how you get on and know you're doing an Awesome job!             ... View more

Hi @mrsj02 We separated as a family for about a 16 months, due to my husbands work.  I had the kids with me whist he travelled interstate. He would leave Monday morning and return Friday night or early Saturday morning.   What we struggled with the most was when he returned back full time!  We struggled to communicate as a family and the kids would always ask me for everything!  I had to remind them that their Dad can help!!! It took us nearly a year to be back to the way we were.   I like the suggestion @sunflowermom offered,  as you can reevaluate how you're all coping with the separation. I wish you all the best              ... View more

Hi @Zahikusa, Whilst I was reading your post I sensed that you're frustrated with your step sister but at the same time love her so much that you want to guide her to be a responsible adult. Teenage years are quite difficult, they are more interested in their friends than parents, siblings etc. They also like to experiment with drugs, alcohol and unsafe sex. The best way to handle any teenager is to Talk to them and to listen, Loads of listening with no Judgement, even though you may not agree with their decisions. Offer advice calmly or tell her how you may of handled a similar experience. If she pushes you away and wont listen, just remember that a teenager whose behaviour pushes you away is a teenager who needs connection before anything else. I encourage you to have a family meeting like @sunflowermom suggested but this needs to be planned carefully, as you don't want her to feel attacked and that you don't care about her. Remind her that you love her and if you didn't you wouldn't be talking to her about your concerns.    All the best and keep us updated.        ,  I  ... View more

Hi @Worrisome, This is Awesome news! Thank you so much for keeping us updated. Isn’t it a Huge relief when everything is on track with our gorgeous Teenagers.😀 Whilst making decisions can be difficult it’s always great when we’ve made the right one! Once she’s settled at her new school I believe she will open up about what happened at her previous school. My daughter had loads to tell me once she was settled and once I heard what was happening I so grateful we made the move. I’m wishing you and your family all the best and know we are always here to help. ... View more

Hi @Picklemum, I would also like to welcome you to ReachOut. You and your family are so kind to open your home to your nephew. He has gone through so much and moving in with a new family with new rules can make them to feel anxious, Regarding your sons intention of hurting him self, I would encourage you to chat to him about it. Somewhere private where there wont be any interruptions, like going for a walk! I get the most out of my teenager whilst we're walking. I encourage you to listen without judgement, this is where active listening is great. Ask loads of questions and let him know he can always talk to you. As @Taylor-RO suggested, the coaching program will be useful. I will also suggest the Parent Help Line, they are full of great tips on how to manage child and adolescence behaviour. All the best and please keep us updated. ... View more

Hi @Tully99, I agree with all the responses on the forum. You are a wonderful Mum that's raising a mature, resilient young man. Year 9 is a really hard year for friendships as this is a stage when most teenagers like to change groups. How does your son feel about staying with this group? Do they include him in their lunch time activities or weekend get togethers?  If so that's great and I would tell him to persist and stay in the group. If not I would advice him to reconsider as not being included can be hurtful and effect his self esteem.  Please keep us updated as we are always here to help.     ... View more

I sat in the sun with a Green Tea and read my book ... View more

Hi @tteegg, I'm sorry to hear she's not accepting the help on offer. The Butterfly foundation is an organisation that helps people with all eating disorders. They are also able to help families that are worried about someone you care about. You can find out more here. Your holiday wasn't a bad idea, you wanted time away as a family. This is something we all enjoy to do from time to time. You're a caring Mother, that's trying to assist her daughter and find the best way to help her.   I hope this information helps!   ... View more

  Hi @tteegg So sorry to hear your daughter isn't enjoying the family holiday.  You mentioned she hasn't eaten in three days. Maybe suggest going to a cafe that servers her favourite food!  My teenager will jump at the chance to go a burger place.    Does she enjoy going for long walks?  If so, this would be great one on one time and hopefully she will open up.       ... View more

Hi @Nervous, I had a friend that went through something similar. She did most of the home schooling her self but also had a relative that was at University that was willing to help out two hours a week. This allowed her to go to the gym or for a coffee with a friend and a little me time.   Do you have a friend or community member that can help?   l ... View more

Hi @bhowlings,   I agree with @gina-Ro about going to see a counsellor to talk to about this. As a parent I often find it comforting speaking to a professional about my children and life in general. Can I suggest talking to her coaches. Maybe they have noticed a change in your daughter as well and can offer advice.  My daughter is 15, she loves her sport and trains at a national level. I often touch bases with her coaches,to see how they are, which comps are coming up and how my daughter is performing. All this is done without my daughters knowledge. I hope this helps. Please keep us updated. ... View more

Hi @RichardC This one is a little tricky but I would have to agree with your lawyer daughter. You grounded your son from the concert and he accepted this as his punishment for breaking curfew. This would of upset him and the days leading up to the concert he would of felt left out and frustrated that he couldn’t attend. During this time he would reflected and realised that breaking the rules is something he wouldn’t want to do again. I hope this helps ! ... View more

Hi @happydayz This is a difficult age to keep entertained during the holidays. I have an 11 year old boy that would love to spend all day on his screen. We went shopping the other day and he found an adult version Dot To Dot book! He enjoys it so much he won’t put it down. A few other ideas would be a hand ball challenge. My kids are allowed to play indoors when it’s cold. Baking things like cookies, my son loves baking and spending time in the kitchen. Another activity my son loves is learning card tricks (this does require a little screen time) but education at the same time. I hope this helps. ... View more

This is a discussion I often have with friends and family. I noticed my gorgeous teen was upset after school and was taking her frustration out on me and her brother.Even though she said she was fine I knew I needed to chat to her when we were alone. We both love going for long walks, so I took the opportunity to start a conversation about my school years and all the things I struggled with as a teenager. Within a few minutes she opened up and told me about her frustrations at school and how she felt during exams. I tried to offer advice but she didn’t want to hear it from me. So I went to our GP that suggested a psychologist that was a mother to teenagers and was wonderful with her patients. I attended the first session with my daughter, the psychologist was so professional and understanding. We saw results within a couple of weeks. Her attitude towards us and her school work has improved. She’s now able to handle her anxiety with school work and life in general with the guidance of her psychologist and her family. I know we have a long road ahead especially with HSC around the corner but I believe she will have the tools to handle what ever comes her way. ... View more

i will go for a walk before dinner ... View more

Thank you! So happy to be part of Reach Out😊 ... View more