As some of you are aware we have hens. You buy 3 cute things and before you know it .. mother hen gets clucky and very hormonal and is extremely horrible. (like us) She attacks everything that comes near her and becomes protective. I intensely dislike her hormones they smell terribly, she refuses to eat and drink and won't let the others lay they all start screaming- she goes into her little mummy brain world.   Sound normal? She wants to become a mum and so we buy fertile eggs. She turns them around under her overheated tummy - 37.5 deg. 21 days later we have chicks and she clucks to call them for food - she picks it up and drops it straight away for her babies. We too, make the mush carefully so our babies don't choke.   She freaks out if they run out from underneath her or we take her outside without them. We stay with the babies keep them warm, play and talk to them and keep them safe. Newborns need their mums we stress when they are out of our sight. We cuddle and talk to them and they are comforted and quiet.   She lets them go when she has had enough. I would so like to copy her parenting style!!   At 7-8 wks those cute little babies start to become teens, they are scruffy, ugly and fight over everything. Just like ours and they whinge at the door for food and want to find any scraps my teens will have dropped.   Some days those little pitter patters are so cute, I can sit forever as they struggle to get what they want. Others, I want to advertise because their crap just about kills me and does my head in.. Just like my kids.   They do live inside until they are old enough and feathered to cope with the weather. They come inside when they are sick and need meds, they have baths just like we do. They have their own plates and whinge when they are empty. I don't always have the time to get their food ready-  just like us. They do sit and watch telly and they love cuddles. Just like us!   They have nappies so the floor doesn't get crapped on - my teens hate cleaning up a mess.    They are all an extended part of our family, they go to the vet if sick, everything we do they pretty much do, they know where their beds are and take themselves off when ready. They love going out in the car they pretty much like anything if we are around.   Family is whatever we want or need it to be, society is so judgemental.   It fills us with happiness, hope, distress and daily struggles.   I worry endlessly - my children tell me I love our feathered family more than them - of course, they are far more polite and co operative even as teens. We get fresh hot eggs for breaky but.. some of my girls hide their goodies and themselves for wks on end.  Just like our kids they make decisions but not always for the best.   Life with animals is about boundaries, trust, providing shelter, love and caring.    Animals don't forget and neither do we. Sometimes life hurts but we need to remember that we are strong, capable of anything and can move forward no matter the circumstances.   Our feathered family have taught us many lessons that I had never thought of and the kids do go to them when upset - often found curled up in a bed with teen. Extremely good for their MH when mum knows nothing. ... View more

Or is it Sharing and Caring??   I have said this to my dog as she hogs the heater - she shuffles 2cm and I keep reminding her of those 3 words until her paws are resting.   When we find out we are pregnant we stop eating our cheese, drinking our alcohol to have a healthy baby. We start stressing.   Bub is born not sleeping, not feeding no eye contact  not keeping up with the Jones next door kid. We are stressing - bad parents, can't cope and not communicating with all of us who struggle in silence.   Toddlers talking or not, milestones not met, no sleeping, running away - yeah we were in such a hurry for that milestone, talking OMG not talking yet - yeah stress, stress and more. Start talking and they never shut up - in a hurry for that one too. More stress and having to keep up in the playground - exhausting endless tantrums. Poor parenting god yes!   Off to school, platts don't match, socks don't match (the washing machine has kindly eaten them again) friends well they were yday but today they don't like me and the crying - were we in a hurry for school and environmental change and whinging, and tired and not eating their lunch- it took hours to prepare instead of bad parenting and packets of nasty food according to the parent police. Stress, stress and my child can't do their homework I'll shut them up by doing it myself the teacher won't really notice- it is now 2 am and I am still awake because I want the best for my child, distressed from exhaustion..   Along comes the 9 yr old the attitude starting to rear it's head, so stressful, pre puberty - a quick taste of the future.. so stressful what are we going to do???   Teens  its where most of us are at.. we are exhausted, feel unloved, not the priority just thrown in the junk pile along with the dolls and trucks, where did our babies go??   Who is this thing we have in our house, demanding, selfish, swearing, violent  and eating OMG we need another job to keep the cupboards full. Stressed? Well yes and no. Confused more -yes than no, hated - definitely, broke - always, loud music - we start to lose our hearing, listening - a foreign word, always right - in their own minds we forget we have rights.. Screaming - headphones were invented for parents not kids.. disrespect - I'm perfect - you are wrong, you don't care and I hate you.. That hate word so destructive for our wellbeing. MH well we have definitely become mental, we are distressed, we take up alcohol at 4pm in time for the bewitching hr to cope. I am so mentally unwell at times because they get into my head warning me I shouldn't be within 1000 km of them. Stressed, where can I check myself in to escape from these things that have taken over...   Sound familiar?? We are stressed and distressed, our coping mechanisms lost out the day they became their own individuals. Our lives amount to miscommunication, anger which is really sadness, feeling unloved, overwhelmed with our poor parenting performance and societies confirmation as failures. In all of this listening, communicating, caring and struggling along is what we all do, but then again all it's stressful and we blame ourselves for not knowing what to do.   Reaching out is not something we do easily, nor do we talk, breathe or cry. Our heads are full of the mess we allow to do 360's to takeover so basic parenting skills are forgotten. Sharing our crap is caring for ourselves.   ... View more

Let me say I really loathe parenting. I am over it and want to leave home - I still have 4 yrs before this can happen and yes I am breathing.   A call from the teacher goes something like this : So you know T1 has a girlfriend and it has been going on for the past 3 mths and she has asked to get help. She has also been doing xyz and abc.   My version of this has been angry outbursts, laziness, leaving the house and other teen normal behaviours. I am fortunate that generally speaking we have a lot of respect in our house. Violence including verbal is not acceptable due to our past. I have literally asked her what's happening, how's school she is a nerd general stuff we always talk about. None, zero, the end..   I am gay and understand the complications around the emotional trauma, society peer pressure. We both inform each other about things we have read seen etc. I am well versed and of course support her on everything, we do see each others POV mostly. She knows and tells her friends when Mum says No, it means No. She can trust me for everything and she knows it.   Teens are teens they talk to each other thank god! I wait for her to tell me in her own time. So she has some control of things in her life. She does acknowledge that I actually know things.   We are not perfect, I make mistakes admit argue and try not to repeat but I am 100% excellent in repeating and I hope that my girls will be too.   I am screaming in my head the why not, obviously trust issues, her thinking things that I would never do, not feeling comfortable within her own relationship, how did I miss this???? I was mentally coping again but every time I try to talk to her she hides, walks out or is so silent I don't even know she is home. Today I asked her for 5 mins, she argued I told her to forget it and just go. I don't want to talk to her, I feel like a teen putting those protective walls up.   And her SN sister has been bribing her since she found out. Usually I find out the details as they are happening!! Perhaps I should call my psych team who are on speed dial. ... View more

So I am back after a little while and in much better shape and I have more chooks and babies hatching this week!!! So exciting for us.   A few mths ago my chooks meant nothing (huge red flag) and my kids SN14 and her somewhat normal teen twin have been doing the bulk of caring and making decisions and living in despair whilst I somehow managed to get out of whatever scenery my mind was hiding behind. I lost my memory and failed the mini mental tests. Didn't know my name blah blah. They rang the psych team who changed meds and slowly I began to smile and show a few minutes of interest.. They coped extremely well as usual and got support from friends and the MH team.   During this time we had so much success with all of our issues, SN issues wins for my girl and the school took on all recommendations. Rehab appmts 3 times a wk, my SN girl is back in the pool and her feet are loosening up more each week. The school also has given my SN girl an outlet to gain confidence and train dogs for autism.  T1 has just returned from a wk of cadet training on one of the Vic bases. Her confidence was booming until she saw her sister. I did find having a single child very draining so glad I managed twins!   If I'd taken more care of myself instead of putting out the traumatic fires hour after hour and stressed less about stupid things, if only I just talked, if only I'd realised how little juice was in the tank, if only the rain had stopped, if only I had remembered to cry and breathe -advice I freely give out and kindly forgot to advise myself. But now, I'm back to building the weather is hot and I have to rescue my hens as the rooster is running amok .. We'd eat him but he is a bantam and who else would sit on my shoulder at night watching telly!!             ... View more

I think after 14 years of advocating for my SN girl I am feeling exhausted and totally whingy..   Education departments drive me beyond my coping mechanisms - that is saying something having a SN kid. They do my head in. Each individual state advising me that yes we do have a special Ed dept and how can we help you..   Advice for SN parents ring your Ed dept and ask to be put through specifically to them and try to communicate via email at all times once you get a name.. Do not let go of your life line of sanity. Primary school funding with a Dx is pretty much given.   It took me 11 yrs to get funding in Q unfortunately we had to move interstate. It has just taken me another 18 mths but funding for teens is virtually more impossible than a Centrelink application for a carer payment.   Fortunately I guess - still so angry.. education wise the report has indicated my girl is 5 yrs behind her peers in learning difficulties. I gave it to school as they too, had been waiting.. and yes no funding but we can put all the suggestions into place to make life easier for her. she then replied but I could have done that testing for you in 2015. I wanted to smack her so hard as I had asked her if she could and she said No.. my girl was unwell and could see my breathing accelerate and got us away from her. My nature is just so chilled but when we got home with T2 chanting breathe mum just breathe I stood at the back door screaming and stopped when she started crying. The unfairness on our kids making their lives so difficult by the endless red tape and lack of communication in these departments.   Am I excited for the result - NO! Are we going out to celebrate success -NO! Because this is the 3rd time and I won't believe anything until I see the proof.   However after whinging, we got an appmt with the rehab team. Occupational Therapist, Soc Wkr, physio and speech pathologist. My girl will start physio as we found out she has so many issues with her hips, legs, ankles and feet (cerebral palsy) we were strangely overwhelmed but excited as she can now move forward and hopefully return to swimming and confidence. We celebrated that success. The SW has now seen me on my own to help with SN parenting which I have been doing by myself - updating me on a few new skills. OT and SP next week  - we could be lucky enough not to have our house consistently covered in flour, food and fluids before my girl leaves home..   I try to put a positive spin on it but sometimes.. breathing and crying just so do not cover it. Agree? ... View more

As some of you may have already had experience with the OT many of us haven't. There are many reasons that you may need to see one - motor skills, rehab, behavioural issues, medical diagnosis, mental health etc. Below I have found some information that may be helpful for issues you may be experiencing or yet to experience. OT's are part of the allied health team with physio's, soc workers etc.     Occupational therapists can assist children to engage in school, play, and self-care occupations and to participate in their life roles with their families at home, school, and in the community.    The role of occupational therapists Occupational therapists (OTs) are child- and family-focused. They assist children to manage the sensory sensitivities, as well as the behavioural and coordination difficulties, that often accompany medical diagnosis. OTs also help children to overcome challenges they may have with daily activities. OTs use children’s everyday activities as the focus of intervention and are expert at modifying activities and environments to better suit a child’s needs.   When should a child/family see an occupational therapist?  If a child has difficulties with play, managing transitions, self-care, or school-work tasks such as concentrating and writing, or has sensory and coordination difficulties.   What does an assessment involve? The OT will talk with the parents or carers, the child (if appropriate), and other professionals about a child’s strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, and behaviour.     What kind of treatments do occupational therapists provide? The OT will work collaboratively with the child and parents to identify goals for intervention and develop a plan of action with short-term objectives that they can work on together.     For a school-aged child, an occupational therapy session might involve additional activities such as:   active movement, role-plays, stress reduction techniques, handwriting practice,  participation in a social skills group with other children.   As the child gets older, these activities might expand to include organising and managing friendships, interests, and responsibilities. OTs make use of visual strategies such as visual timetables, social stories, and visual cue-cards. They may teach the child self-management or self-regulation strategies to cope with challenges such as personal organisation, social skills, or sensory sensitivity.    Within the school setting:   The OT may work with the child and the teacher to modify classroom expectations to allow new ways for a child to demonstrate knowledge despite such things as poor handwriting and difficulties with personal organisation.   In summary, OTs are skilled in a variety of types of intervention: • promoting and maximising a child’s occupation performance, health, well-being, and participation; • assisting a child to develop new skills; • ensuring new skills are maintained and built upon; • modifying the environment or activity to ensure a child can participate in meaningful ways; and • implementing steps to prevent the development of behaviours or performance that would diminish a child’s strengths or abilities in the long term.     I have a SN teen who started seeing an OT around 2 yrs. Mostly her behaviour was/is our biggest issue -being a twin she was leading her sister along on her escapades. We slowly managed to proceed and then went back when she was 4. Learning difficulties were so pronounced -she still at 14 has just been dx again with the age of 9 in basic English. She is a very clever girl but just cannot get it out. At 7 she tried holding things but her co ordination is still quite poor. We are about to go back and relearn how to refine hand skills - she loves to cook and does it well - but the house is covered in flour etc.   As you have read through the different processes on what an OT does my family and I have used them many times at all ages. It can be used privately and also through the public system. They are very supportive and interested both on the phone and in person. Hopefully this can help when you are beyond coping and unable to think of where else to turn. ... View more