Hey @chilli918 ,
Welcome to ReachOut! I would like to thank you for being honest and courageous by sharing what you’re going through. What you are experiencing with your 13 year old daughter would be incredibly taxing to say the least, so it’s completely understandable and valid to be feeling lost, exhausted and helpless. I can also see that you are feeling heartbroken for your daughter and may be afraid of what she might be getting involved in.
Self-care is unlikely to be on your conscience at present but can be really helpful to manage these feelings you have, so I’m wondering if you’ve been able to engage in any self-care? This article on self-care includes a few tips on self-care and might be helpful for generating new ideas. I was also curious to know if you and your daughter have any social supports together? Sometimes it can help to have another person who is on the same page throughout everything that is happening, whether that be extended family, old friends or teachers?
Parents often fail to give themselves the recognition they deserve during these tough times, so It’s important to acknowledge and recognise that you are doing the best you can in such a complex situation! From what you’ve shared I can see that you’ve made sure to support your daughter in any way possible which shows your strength and unconditional love. Despite your daughter not following your boundaries, she is still open and comfortable to communicate with you, which shows the special connection you both share.
It is also important to remember that your wellbeing is just as valuable as your daughters. I can see that you’re connected with a clinical psychologist and are being supported by the school. Have you had the opportunity to check in with your psychologist and discuss how you’re feeling around this? I am also wondering if you’ve been able to speak to any friends or family about what you’re experiencing? It might also be helpful to receive additional support during this time, so I encourage you to connect with ReachOut’s 1:1 parent coaching service that is free and confidential. Additionally, Parentline is another great service that offers free and confidential counselling that might be useful to explore.
I look forward to hearing from you soon!
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