Hi Post deleted by author. Your respectfully. ... View more

Hi @Runningonempty  I wrote about a lot of the useful resources we found that helped us when my son was about 16. I’ve dug through my old posts and found another resource that was helpful to us. What follows is a copy from one of my previous posts.  ************************************************************* Recently my wife and I were at a real low in what has been a 2 1/2 journey with our son. He is now 16, has not lived with us for almost a year now. There are all sorts of complex issues to deal with and we have struggled recently with ideas to change the way we communicate to him.    We were doing and saying much the same thing over and over. He is doing the same thing over and over, just getting worse and worse.    We had to do something to flip or change our approach and thinking. After all we have tried, our son’s situation continues to deteriorate.     Nothing we have said, done or tried, has changed the outcome for him.    The purpose of my post is to communicate a resource we found that has provided a whole new set of ideas for us to help with the way we think and communicate to our son.    Search talkingtoteens  We found lots of ideas in several of the podcasts that really helped us. One podcast that really hit the mark for us was about ”empathic confrontation” yes and the site and most of the resources are from the US.    Just another of the many resources that may or may not work for and help other parents.    ... View more

Hi @Runningonempty If you have not read it, the books by Michael Carr-Gregg and Elly Robinson may be helpful as it is Australian researched and authored. The Boys version gave us a starting framework to understand a bit better what was going on with our son. ... View more

Hi @Runningonempty  We had a very similar story with our son. He was the younger of  two children. Daughter 2 years older. At about 13 our delightful son started changing into a person we did not recognise. The description of your daughter’s behaviour rings so true to what we experienced. My thoughts? Firstly look after yourself, your relationships and your other daughter. This forum offered us an avenue of support that was not available in our personal community. In fact, it was the best resource we found that helped us survive the worst times of 8 years of anguish and trauma. Many of our close friends and family fled. They simply did not have a way they thought would help. So they simply stayed away. We kept our closest friends informed as to what was happening. That helped us and them understand a little of what we were going through   Other thoughts? You are the expert on your daughter. We found little to no useful support or advice from “experts”. If you do seek “expert” support, be very specific in asking what approach they will take to assist your daughter. We paid a lot for counselling services that showed no positive outcome or improvement.  We took the following approach. Do everything we could to help our son within our capability and understanding at the time. I did not want to look back and say “we should have done that!” He is 21 now. He is still not “out of the woods yet”, however we see some changes that are the most positive in 8 long years. There are many things I would do in a different way now. However, I stand without regret knowing we did our best at the time. That is all we could do. I hope my comments are of some help in the most difficult and terrible time for you, your partner and both of your daughters. ... View more

This is a forum for parent support. Not a forum for Spam bombing. Go elsewhere please. ... View more

Today for self care, I went to the dog beach early in the morning with my daughter and our new member of the family (of two weeks), our 9 month female Great Dane at 47 kg. Our new family member is caring, affectionate, very loving and great for our mental health.  ... View more

Hi @UnhappyHouse    My family experienced a similar type of behaviour at the same age with my son. It has been a long and difficult experience. I have a few suggestions that may help.    1. You and your mothers safety, both physical and mental needs to come first.   Try to get your mum to seek some support. Reach Out has a great online counselling program available for free. It will provide her and you with strategies to help when your brother is abusive. That is a start.   No one, (including any family member) should have to tolerate the abuse you have described. Any tolerance or attempt to appease the perpetrator only seems to embolden them. It is not okay.  2. Find out what the rules are where you live with respect to Restraining orders.  For example in Western Australia there is a family violence restraining order available.  I would start with a visit to the local police or one of your local community support group. We found the police to be very supportive and understanding. They are at the front line dealing with these issues all the time.  3. Ensure you start by looking after yourself. This way, you can best help your mum. The support services in this forum are a great start.  https://parents.au.reachout.com/one-on-one-support     ... View more

Today for self care, I will go early to the local farmers market and start with the best traditional short Mac coffee in WA from my cheerful and friendly barista mate. Then I will go store to store, buy my things and chat with my market mates about our week.  ... View more

Hi @tracyliz    i have posted previously on Family Violence Restraining Orders. We are in WA. I would suggest a visit to the Children’s Court in your state to find out how it works there.    In WA it was straight forward. My wife attended the court, explained all the events. She was grilled hard, however could explain all the events and details to the satisfaction of the Magistrate. She was granted an FVRO on the day. This then has to be served on the child by the police. That can take some time longer, it can be 3 to 7 days in our experience. The police have been terrific here, however this is one thing they really don’t like issuing to a child. So you may have to prompt them or advise where your child is so that they can serve the notice.    The terms of our FVRO was no approaching the home within 100 m, not contact with my wife or her workplace (unless a lawyer or police officer as present or for agreed family counselling). We only applied he FVRO with my wife named on it, as we wanted one of us to be able to deal with him if needed, even though it was intended to protect all of our family.   I found a youth accommodation facility for him to move into before the FVRO was served on him so he had somewhere to go to. However I would firstly prioritise protecting your family, then deal with helping him if you can. The hostel applied for Independent emergency Centrelink payments for my son, which to my surprise was granted, then converted to Independent later.    The Police in WA can also grant an immediate 3 day VRO that takes effect as soon as it is served on the child. We discovered that no one would tell us about these avenues to protect our family. All of the services don’t want children being issued with these orders until things go critical.   From your description, I would act ASAP as we had to, simply to ensure our safety and his. I empathise with you. It is heart wrenching and hard to contemplate how this occurs. Our son was also ransoming equipment and irreplaceable items to get what he wanted too.  ... View more

We have a very angry teen. Using the Reach out coaching was great. It provided specific strategies my wife and I could use when he became angry and aggressive.    Using the language of “I feel very ....upset / frightened etc..... when you ..... are swear ta me / yell at me ...... etc” this was very effective at first. If you are in this situation, I strongly recommend both parents or carers engage in the Reachout Coaching offered.    That worked for for a while, till he employed other strategies to negate the ones we were using. Very canny. We ended up taking out a Family Violence Restraining Order. That was the only solution we could find after a long period of continued escalation.    Fast forward 2 years and we now believe that he was reacting badly to coming down off drugs. This may seem like a fine point, however our language at the time was “have you taken drugs, or  are you affected by drugs?” He would always deny this. In some ways he was telling the truth in his eyes. As now we believe the anger occurred on the way down, maybe a day or two later after the drug use. So he could in a limited way claim it was not caused by what he had taken, at least in his narrow view.  ... View more

My daughter is great helping around the house with specific jobs. I have used the strategy of teaching her how to do other things around the house so that she knows how to do it when she moves into a share house or flat of her own. That could be an approach to use with your husband? Let them learn how to do it now, rather than the hard way on their own? Especially if they are both already co-operative.    I was showing my daughter just the other day how to remove and clean the filter in the bottom of the dishwasher. I do it once a week and it keeps it fresh. I guessed it would be one of those things she never even knew was a regular job done by either her mum or dad.    We often do a father / daughter floor vacuum and floor wash blitz on a Saturday while my wife is out. We’ve found we can work really well together and do it so much faster with the two of us working together. I start clearing and moving furniture, she follows with the vacuums, I then follow around and wash the floor, she dries the floor with towels after me. We get a large area done in about an hour.    Oh, that’s a wicked thought, suggest your husband does it with them as a bonding activity?! This Aussie dad does.  ... View more

Hi @sunflowermom    Thanks for your comment. I don’t track him on his phone as if I do he is likely to turn tracking completely off as he has in the past. So I have one of my apple devices set up as an “approved” one to open his iCloud account which I believe would enable me in an emergency to track his phone if it is on. So I save this action for a dire emergency.    Some of the reading / listening I’ve done suggests the tough love route simply does not work. However, we are not left with many options now. He has consistently refused to engage in anything. So it seems that if his avenues of support narrow down, he will have to seek it from the youth support services for housing, drug counselling etc. He still has an allocated Youth support worker and we stay in close contact with her.    The Youth support worker has a face to face meeting with him next week and is trying her best to get him to voluntarily engage with some of the services available to him. My wife and I dare not hope too much!   I send a text once every few days, just the say hi type, or are you okay. He rarely if ever responds. I do that just to hope it maintains some kind of connection, however tenuous and fragile that may be. Each time he does engage, I tell him I care for him and I love him and want to rebuild a relationship when he is ready.    I have stopped using any language with “drug” in it. I realised a couple of months ago that when anyone asked him about his usage of drugs he always denied he had a problem or what he was using. So I struck on the idea one day to discuss with him how he was. I specifically said “you just asked me to get you a whole lot of things and you explained what they were and clearly. Remember on 6 December, you were unable to express yourself, you could not construct any thoughts in sequence and you could not remember even a couple of things to ask me”.   To my shock and surprise he agreed with me. He had been clean for about 6 weeks at that stage. I managed to repeat it several times while he was clean. My intention was to ensure that if he got back on the drugs and was incoherent again, I could use the same language and hope that a little light bulb of memory or recognition would be triggered. I have also suggested this to any support workers that come into contact with him, don’t use the “are you using drugs” question. Instead ask him about his state of mind, ability to reason and remember things. He is very intelligent and is exceptional at reasoning if he is clean, and it is something he is proud of. So he may admit a problem here even when he denies drug use or a drug problem.    So I try to keep the discussion around, are you healthy? How are you feeling? Etc. I get no response, but I hope that one day it makes a difference.    I’ve been following your progress with your daughter, it is great to see you have made great strides with her. What is really apparent in all of this, is that we have to try a whole repertoire of ideas to find something that works for us and the person we are trying to help. I can only imagine the depth of trauma you have gone though recently.    So it is great to see what you are doing has achieved some progress for her. Well done.  ... View more

My short example of empathic confrontation would be ”when that part of you that gets angry, it really upsets me. You need to give me a moment to ........ calm down / think about what you have said / etc”.   I like the way the language of “when that part of you” divides out behaviour and specific emotional responses from the person. It feels to me a lot more powerful than saying, “when you get angry and yell at me”.    This is just a short example. I would recommend listening. The podcasts are typically 25 to 30 minutes long. So they are ideal to listen to in the car driving to work, or going for a walk with earbuds in.  ... View more

Update on my 16 year old son.    My son spent the whole summer in custody. We spent substantial time and effort to write a detailed submission to the Magistrate to ensure they had a full background on what has happened to our son and a best and worst case outcome for him.    His case was finally discharged without orders or penalty due to the extent of the time spent in custody. New we are several weeks down the track and what we predicted if there were no court Orders on him has happened.  1. Homeless or at a very unsavoury location that he will no divulge to anyone 2. Back on drugs, however now it is pills (diazepam), probably dope and other drugs 3. Unable to communicate clearly due to returning to drugs and unreasonable demands 4. No school attendance 5. No apparent intention to engage with counselling even though he committed to it in court   I’m not sure if there is a positive out of this, except that his last supporting person (the aunt of his girlfriend) has withdrawn any support due to his drug use at her house last night (apparently he has been turning up there for a meal most evenings). She has told him two nights in a row he is not welcome there now. She lived a much tougher life than either myself or my wife. She says it is the tough love approach. Once he realises he no longer has any support, he will have to seek and engage in help.    I have communicated my care, love and support for him via a carefully worded text message, and have directed him to contact one of two services that can offer him drug counselling and support. It is heart wrenching, however we cannot do anything more for him until he is prepared to seek help. To date he as refused any help or counselling at every turn.    One resource that has helped us recently is a website and podcast series called Talkingtoteens. For our very difficult situation, it has provided my wife and I a renewed perspective and approach in the language we use to talk to and offer help our son. Some of the podcasts precisely cover issues and behaviour that have been dealing with for a long time now. I my only regret is that we did not find this resource a long time ago.   For parents that thought we had an empty toolbox of ideas to understand and deal with our son, it gave us a completely new repertoire of ideas and tools to change how we were approaching our sons behaviour and situation. I’m not sure if it will help him, however it enabled us to change how we were dealing with him, how we thought about what was going on in his head and provided us renewed hope when we both had hit the bottom of our well. This at least has lifted our spirits and provided a much needed boost to our mental state and thinking.    If we have a breakthrough where our son takes a positive step, I’ll post again.  ... View more

I’m grateful for My Great Dane.   She loves a walk first thing every morning, so I’m up early out walking in the bush land every day. At almost 7 she chases a ball like a giant puppy. She is a great companion even when life truely feels rather full of despair, because I can go on my morning walk, listen to all the birds, have a good hearty cry and pull myself back into action, ready for another day.  ... View more

This is a favourite, from the sound track to Hair I got life https://itunes.apple.com/au/album/i-got-life/255355177?i=255355778 Or on Youtube https://youtu.be/-1LRD3DtFAo    I loved the movie all those years ago.  Maybe some themes our children would benefit from seeing!?   For something more recent  I listen to Metric   or lots of the young Australian singers on TripleJ. i love Ali Barter, Alex the Astronaut, the list goes on   ... View more

Hi @lizard0812,   Edited 12/1/19.  My son at thirteen started similar behaviour to what you describe.    Unfortunately it has continued and he is now 16, not living at home and has a Family Violence Restraining Order against him to protect our family.   From my experience, firstly look after yourself. Keep doing things to help you remain functional and sane. It will affect you. I would recommend being honest with whomever you work directly with, your boss or direct supervisor. Keep them informed and up to date. My approach has been factual without making too much of a drama about it. I have used work as a distraction sometimes, with a focus that has increased my productivity to balance the downtime’s. Keeping your management in the dark will not assist your situation.   I would not try to hide what is going on with close friends that offer support. It is surprising when you are honest just how many friends or colleagues have had problems of some nature that they share.    For him, do nothing for him that assists, supports or reinforces the bad behaviour.  The best word is do not enable his behaviour. Do not accept any disrespect toward you. My son started being particularly unpleasant toward my wife for no apparent reason. In hindsight, she was prepared to accept too much and did not tell me of the extent he was being unpleasant. I feel this may have emboldened or empowered his early bad behaviour. Have really firm boundaries.    Put it in front of him opportunities to make better decisions, as often as you can. When he makes a bad decision, let him take the consequences for it.  I recommend not excusing it. If you have wifi, get a device such as Parent Power, to ensure you put clear limits on access to social media etc. I feel that with my son, access to social media only fed the bad behaviour. It seemed he was sharing strategies with others he met on line.     There really is no clear strategy or road map here. So some of what I say above may work for you. Some may not. Do what works for you and feels right for your situation. Get advice and support where you can, but remember you are the subject matter expert, ie your son.    Most important of all, put your health and well-being first. If you are in good shape and remain functional, this is the best way to help him.    I keep a diary of events that had occurred with him. However, I have also started a diary of what I call the “book of good”. I write down each day, something that has made me smile, laugh or simply made me feel good. There is so much crap going on, it is important to find and focus on the laughter, fun, love and joy you can find.   All my opinion only, I hope some of this helps.   ... View more

@Taylor-RO   Thanks thanks for asking.   Since 5 December we have had a lot happen. Approaching this date, our son was homeless a couple of days before because he burnt the bridges with the extended family of his girlfriend. We approached him and offering for him to come home.  Our offer included some really simple basic rules, be calm and respectful, use no drugs, no smoking. He declined our offer of 24 hours safe accommodation.   About 30 hours after our offer of safe accommodation our son turned up at 5:30 AM one morning having been on the street all night and wanting a shower. We allowed him home with the intention of him then finding safe youth accommodation. However he went to his room, and went to sleep for something like 30 hours.   In this time he started showing all of the same evidence that he would become angry and aggressive that he has in the past. Eg. slamming doors, doing minor things to upset others, being verbally abusive, that type of thing.   On seeing all this evidence I wrote a very long email to his psychiatrist requesting some help. I got a great response  and we had a plan to help my son, however he became violent and aggressive before that plan came to fruition.   My son became very aggressive while my daughter was at home, firstly smashing  a window. Fortunately the police arrived and arrested him. This wasn’t the end of the situation, and we had a downward spiral for the next few hours where he was taken to hospital assessed as not being at risk to himself (despite his psychiatrist speaking to the emergency  team at the hospital). Then our son returned home angry and aggressive and smashed more windows in the house. He was later apprehended by police and charged with two cases of assault of a public officer and property damage.   Since December 5 he has been drug-free simply because he has been in youth detention and in a youth bail hostel.  In some ways this is been a huge relief, we know he is safe, we know he is being fed properly, and we know he’s not using any drugs.   In preparation for his court hearing we decided to ensure that the magistrate and the prosecuting lawyer must have all the history of what he has done and all the steps taken in the past to help him. At a previous court hearing all charges against him were dismissed due to time in custody. We were very concerned that this could occur again on this occasion because he has spent much more time in custody in youth jail and the bail hostel.    To ensure that the Magistrate gets all the necessary information we did a lot of research regarding lawyers and how we could make sure all the information was communicated to the magistrate. What we discovered was we could write a detailed submission, lodge it with the police who were placing the charges and in this way all of the information would be received for assessment.    In doing this we have provided all the medical history with statements from his doctors, we have provided old and recent school reports to show the phenomenal contrast between what he was achieving and what he has achieved, we have provided communication between us and his psychiatrist to show all the things that we have been trying to do, essentially we have tried to provide a full picture of all the things that we have tried to do to help him.    Then we have written a seven page document, the first page is a summary that captures everything we are looking achieve for him, describing the best and worst case scenarios. The following pages explain everything step-by-step that we’ve tried to do so that the magistrate realises that this boy has a medical issue that needs court orders and a treatment program will come out of the court hearing.   The hearing is is on the 28th so I’ll let you know how our plan went. We are not leaving anything to chance this time. My wife and I are even preparing a short but sucinct statement I can make in court to help ensure there is mandatory treatment included in the outcome for our son.  ... View more

Hi @FreakedOut   We are in WA. There is a Family Violence Restraining Order available.    My wife attended the Children’s court, explained everything and was granted a 6 month order. I do not know how it works in other States. In WA with a detailed explanation in the court, it is granted immediately. The person is then served the order. They have the opportunity to dispute the order, however to do so they have to demonstrate it is not based on fact. We had no issue with this.    The terms of the order are typically no approaching the home within 50 m, no approaching the person or their work, unless a lawyer or police are present or for family counselling.    If the person breaches the order, the penalties are substantial.    If you are in another state, I would call one of the legal help lines and find out what is the equivalent in your state. I am deeply saddened that someone else is going through what we are. My thoughts are with you.  ... View more

Hi @sunflowermom   Thanks for your words of support. I hope things are moving more forward than backward with your daughter.    I made the toughest decision today that I have ever made. My son called me asking/pleading to come home this afternoon for the first time in 7 months. Something really serious has happened where he is staying with his girlfriend. Some kind of blow up with her grandmother and now the grandmother is accusing both of them of being violent. He claims he did nothing other than comfort and calm his girlfriend. His accommodation options have borrowed once again.    Talking to him though, my son still refuses to even acknowledge what has happened and any part he has had in it. I feel he will walk back in simply doing all the same things as he did. The outcome would be predictable. Extreme disrespect and aggression from him toward my wife, me and my daughter, leading to dispute then raging abuse and likely violence from him. So I can’t let him come home.    I said he could come home, but we had to rebuild our trust and family relationship first. I said that I did not understand what had happened, or why, and most likely he did not either. However, one way to rebuild trust was that he could attend counselling with me to work out a way to rebuild our relationship and trust so that we could feel safe in his presence again. I said I have an appointment on Monday afternoon. I said I had no ideas how to do this and I’m sure he did not either. So we needed someone to help.    He he did not respond well, as he was already really upset from what has transpired with his girlfriends grandmother. So, it was left there with nothing more said.    I followed up with several text messages with no response from him. Who knows what the next few days have in store for us all.    All he wants is a safe place to stay. But he still does not appear to have any ability to acknowledge that he has a functional part to play in being a family if he wants to come home. Until I see some kind of understanding or even recognition of this from him, I can’t let him come home. It would destroy my wife’s mental state and mine too.   It still tears me apart making this kind of call though.     ... View more

Update on my son. A few weeks ago he requested an appointment with our family GP for an updated mental health plan. Good step.    I booked a separate appointment a few hours before my son and met with the GP. My son has just turned 16, so he can ask for me to not be present which he did. This was worthwhile to make sure the GP understood all the issues we have and continue to experience with our son.   Out of this came an appointment with a counsellor and a Psychiatrist. I found a counsellor with lots of experience with teens, by talking to the manager of one of the housing services that has a great program for teens with trouble in their lives. He provided the contact which I then provided to my GP.    There was a session with the counsellor on Monday a couple of weeks ago, followed by an appointment with a Psychiatrist the next day. My son was very focused on getting some types of antidepressant medication, which makes me very concerned and suspicious, based on past experience.   Fast forward two weeks and my son claims he took a months worth of the medication on the second night he had it. He met again with the Psychiatrist a few days ago, who showed great concern, however was very firm and clear in advising my son that if did this or claimed he did it again, he would involuntarily commit him to the public mental health system. Neither of us believe he did take it all, as the Psych says that dosage would have put him out comatose for several days. So there are three possibilities. 1. He took it and it did not affect him as the Psychiatrist says (improbable). 2. He did not take it and sold it (likely). 3 Any other number of possibilities as I am done guessing.   Once again, my son appears to make some progress and baulks at really doing anything that would provide him concrete results.   There is one good outcome. I was so impressed with the counsellor, that I made an appointment for myself. I am an Engineer and I love to have my mind occupied working out how to fix things. This can be technical, strategic, business systems, difficult teenage son, what ever. The upsetting thing is, all my efforts to help my son, have been to no apparent worthwhile effect. This is completely disheartening and just saddens me to the core. I do at times feel like giving up. Maybe it is time for my son to just take the consequences and realise that the only person trying to help him has finally given up?   So I went to the counsellor, to re-fill my box of tools. Ones that he is skilled and experienced with. It did give me a new perspective and several ideas how to help me to influence my son in positive ways. There have been a few positives and small improvements in communication in the last week as a result.    However I have the nagging feeling I am being played by my son once again. So I hesitate to get any hope up, as it has been dashed so many times in the last 3 years. I have another appointment with the counsellor early next week. I booked this, as after the last Psychiatrist appointment, I was genuinely despondent and felt there as little point in continuing to try and help my son. I still feel most of the time that my emotional bucket is just totally drained and in severe drought.  ... View more

Hi @Moloko   My suggestion is meet with the counsellor yourself. Get a sense of what they are like and identify key things you hope the counselling is to achieve.   Make sure you also let your daughter know that if the counselling is not working for her, to tell you early on and try and find one that does work. Don’t just persist with the same one if it is not helping.    My wife sought counselling help due to the problems with my son and the first counsellor she got actually contributed to an increase in her anxiety and problems. It was actually better for her to find a good masseuse, do some yoga at home (there are great routines on YouTube to watch on an iPad to take you through) and this helped more. In other words, do things that help you too.  ... View more

Hi @DadHelp,   As you will see, this post is a live and kicking. There are several of us that have a common story that is heartbreaking and perplexing.    There does not seem to be any specific event that started all this with our loved child. I can say that in hindsight, our son had been using marijuana much earlier and heavier that we ever realised. I would say that if anything, this appears to have been the biggest single contributor only coming second to the flood of teenage hormones.    A few ideas that have helped me: look after yourself and the rest of your family. do things to keep you functioning, hobbies, exercise, something new I suggest an open and direct discussion with you boss or whomever you work closely with. Tell them factually what you are going though and keep up the best work you can. Keep them informed of key events. I believe most people appreciate it. It will be affecting your work and relationships much more than you are aware. Telling people and being honest about the s...t you are going through can be liberating, and will help your colleagues help you.  Keep a sense of humour, though it may be dark on occasion.  Realise you can only do so much   Just my thoughts. ... View more

Hi @sunflowermom   Keep up up the great work. You have some great strategies there. I hope you get some traction with some of them.    Our son has not lived with us for almost six months now. Part of the emotional response is relief at not being subjected to the daily torrent of hatred and abuse that came without apparent reason or cause. The other part is just as strong, the deep sorrow and feeling of loss that cuts into my being on a daily basis. Some days better and some days worse.    I keep trying strategies that may help him. It was his 16th birthday last month. We were able to send some presents, get him some cards and make sure he had a good night. The most difficult part was we were not there to be part of that. He did actually thank us.    Despite the intermittent vitriol directed at me via text from my son, whenever I can I let him know that despite him always refusing any help I offer, just because I have stopped offering does not mean I will not help him if he needs it. I tell him he will just have to ask and explain why he needs it.    Well, last week he asked me to book an appointment with our GP. I attended the GP in advance and tried my best in 20 minutes to cover all the key events that had occurred in the last torrid two years. My son has asked the GP for a referral to a psychiatrist.   It is the first time he appears to be taking a little responsibility in doing something about his situation. I say that intentionally, because throughtout this I have carefully explained where I thought his behaviour was leading. So far, and regrettably I have been correct.    I hope that that this is one small step of many in the right direction of him.  ... View more

Yes it is up and running. It is a great support forum and the coaching offered is terrific.  ... View more

When you think things are going wrong or you are faced with a challenging situation to solve, one of my great mentors always said “Turn your stumbling blocks into your stepping stones”. Another way I recast this is to flip a negative into a positive. An example: my daughter was struggling with how a teacher was responding to students and getting very frustrated with it. I suggested to instead observe where she thought the teacher was going wrong, and work out how she would respond if the teacher tried to treat her that way. Then she would be prepared in advance. ... View more

Hi @Cadbury   Look up parent power on the internet. Australian company, great support and excellent solution to your problem. I tried a whole lot of strategies that my son would always work around. This device gives you control of what they can access, from what device at what time.    My only suggestion would be to let them all think it is a software system you have implemented, or put the device in a hard to get to or unknown location.    best of luck   Orbit64 ... View more