@Lilly95100 I agree with @motherbear about planning in things to keep your son's mind off of the break up.   As adults we have the big perspective about relationships at that age and that there may be plenty of other girls that might be way better... not to mention that your son might change in the next few years.   The great thing about kids is that they often rebound quickly as long as they have something in their life that's a constant.  It sounds like you really care and that you're doing all of the right things.  He should be fine.   I always think about this quote someone told me: "In life, pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."   I hope this helps.     ... View more

@lizard0812,   It's a good sign that you're even asking about this...    Here's what's worked for me.  I tend to be super strict and i have  teen step-daughter.  In her early teens, we fought about this a lot.   Then, I did a step-by-step process.   I would start very small and give her just a little freedom.   I would explain my expectations, any curfews, and other boundaries.   If she succeeded, she would get that freedom.  I would wait about a month or two, then give her another opportunity to expand her freedoms.   After about a year, she had earned my trust and her mom's trust, and she learned how to be responsible.    Every once in a while, she messes up.  There are consequences, but we focus on what she's doing right so that she believes in herself and her decision-making ability.   With you son, start him with a very simple opportunity and see how he does... then gradually give him bigger freedoms.  You'll learn what he's ready for and not ready for.   I hope this helps!     ... View more

@Valerieb, this is a tough issue.  I agree with the article that @Breez-RO recommended, but at the end of the day... you are the parents, and they are the kids.   Sometimes we over-complicate things.  There's no reason that any child should think it's ok to mouth off to their parents without a repercussion or consequence.   I am a big fan of Love & Logic, and being able to set expectations and consequences.  Kids need boundaries, and they need to know parents will enforce consequences consistently.    Sometimes it can be tough... which is why it's called "Tough Love."   You can talk to your kids and explain that your house has standards.  Explain your expectations and then tell them the consequences if they choose not to meet those expectations.   You can still do this in a very loving way, and there's no need to explain why it's important to keep the house clean or why leaving food on dishes is a bad choice.     It's a tough journey, and it does require commitment and consistency, but if you give it some time, you can change the environment and dynamic. ... View more

germ4 ... unfortunately, this kind of thing happens in life... I'm a huge believer in communicating, but doing so without accusing or blaming anyone. On one hand, you have some resentment about the situation, so you might consider asking the other parent if there's a reason they don't include your daughter (without blaming them or acting upset). On the other hand... if your daughter doesn't mind or notice, it could be better not to bring anything up and plant any seeds in her head or create a perspective that she doesn't have. If you choose not to communicate with the other parents... don't mention it to your daughter... I think adults can take things more personal than kids sometimes. I hope that helps! ... View more