My 17 yoa son, soon turning 18, has been on a pathway of self-destruction since his first year of high school. It started with suspension after suspension, expulsion, change schools, more suspensions, and another expulsion. He has had a few run ins with police, twice at court, and still doesn't see the severity of his actions. I talk, I advise, I suggest, I threaten, I yell, I make ultimatums - every strategy has not worked. He won't engage with a professional counsellor - flat out refuses and says it useless. He is not interested in working - says he doesn't want to do stupid jobs - instead comes in and out of the house like it's a motel, smokes cannabis, and has done since his early teens, hides, keeps secrets. Every time I try to talk to him, he either just tells me what I want to hear or just ignores me. I'm done. I don't want to speak to another police officer, I don't want to smell any cannabis, I don't want to look at him when he is stoned, I am not going to court again. I write this just after having returned home from children's court where he has lost his license for driving under the influence of a substance where he once again refused all offers of counselling, programs instead giving them a "leave me alone" look. I lost my sh*t in the car. I'm exhausted. I don't understand why he chooses to be like this. I'm a single mum and a good role model. I have a career, own my own home, don't drink, don't do drugs etc. I left his father when my boy was in primary school due to him having become involved in ICE. The father is in contact with my son and sees and speaks with him on average twice a year. I know this is the crux of my boys issues, but he is nearly an adult and needs to take control of his life - but won't. I don't want to deal with this anymore. I'm exhausted. It doesn't matter what I say or do, or what I don't say or do - the kid doesn't listen, care either way. So rather than continually stress myself out putting my own life and peace in jepordy, I'm slowly being left with no other choice but to give up. He is on the path to destruction, regardless of what I do or try - I'd might aswell protect myself from being dragged down with him. During the car ride home I told him directly that I'm right behind him and will do everythign in my power to help him if he chooses the right path but I won't be dragged along the downward path with him, he can do that on his own. We enter the house, his mate pulls up out the front and the kid leaves. Again, didn't hear, didn't care. Why should I be loosing my mind and stressing about his future when he couldn't care less. Help, I don't know what to do. I don't know what is worse at this point, living like this every day or dealing with the aftermath of him going to jail, becoming a drug addict or worse, going to jail. It seems to me that if he doesn't choose to change things around himself, I'm going to suffer regardless
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