Ok thanks for sharing and being so honest here. There are a couple of things going on. Let’s first talk about your personal guilt - you did not cause this behaviour, you aren’t responsible for it. Perhaps as a suggestion ask questions in a curious way, “what does it feel like when you self harm yourself, does it hurt, does it feel good. This might sound crazy but if we do this instead of “OMG how could you do this to yourself!!! or this hurts me and makes me feel so sad to see you hurt yourself like this” etc It can help them to think about what they are doing to themselves, and not feel judged for it and not carry guilty feelings because of how much it hurts their mother or father when they SH. Does this make sense? If you react in such a way when you see the scars she won’t come to you and share things with you instead will become defensive and defiant. Again this isn’t your fault, but the way you choose to react is your choice. Let your daughters see the fun mum you can be, smile (makes such a difference) Don’t stop doing life, try and take the seriousness out of this situation, you’ll start to feel free, your daughters will both notice, your hubby will notice. Be kind to yourself, try and do atleast 3 nice things for yourself every week. I understand this situation is hard, my daughter has SH too. When I learnt to change my approach I felt less pressure and so did they. And remember again it’s not your fault. I hope this is helpful x
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