11 year old changes

[Sunmoon]

Is this normal? My boy is 11 now. Since then, he’s been more sensitive, talks back, academic performance has dropped compare to before. Is this normal? Going through beginning of puberty? What are somethings I can do to support and help out?

[Sophia-RO]

Hi @Sunmoon , sounds like things have been a bit tough for you and your son lately. It's great that you have reached out for some advice on how to best support your son through this. I'm wondering if you have had the chance to discuss any of your concerns with your son to see what his thoughts are? You mentioned that your son's academic performance has dropped, have you been able to discuss your concerns with your son's teacher or another staff member at his school?

[Sunmoon]

Yes I have talked to my son multiple times, but he says nothings going on and everything’s the same. I just had parent teacher conference meeting and they said the same thing just like any other years on what he needs to work on and how they think about him. But for the first time he received a C on one of his subjects and was the first time he did not get any awards at school. I’m not sure if the teachers not that supportive of him this year or perhaps it’s not a big deal but I’m just making a big deal out of it because I’ve been worried about some changes. Some changes are that he’s been more sensitive and talks back more and a bit more attitude. Not sure if he’s just hitting that normal adolescent stage or if it’s something to worry about. I had been putting more effort to be more supportive and give him more compliments on his efforts and positive actions to not let his self esteem or confidence plunge.

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @Sunmoon, thanks for sharing. It sounds like you are doing all the right things to try and figure out what is going on with your son. It is normal to be worried when you notice changes in your child, so please don't feel alone. I imagine that this whole experience must be really worrying as a parent as you are not quite sure what is going on and your son is unable to provide any clarity. I am wondering about when you first started to notice these changes? Given his age, it could be related to puberty but this could be something that you talk to a health professional about to be more sure. Is this something you are open to doing?

As long as you are being supportive and checking in on him, this could be something that you continue to monitor for any significant changes. That way, if it happened to be due to something else, your son would know that you are there and ready to support him if need be. You could also regularly check in with the school to see if they report any further changes as well.

[Sunmoon]

One thing I’ve noticed he’s been having more odor from under arm which I hadn’t noticed before. I read it’s an early sign of puberty.

Also today I’ve noticed that he still interacts with friends and other peers very well just like he has been always.

Ive been thinking about maybe checking with his primary doctor to get checked up. But Ill probably monitor a little more before I decide.

And yes, I’m still trying hard to be supportive and encouraging more than before even though I may not be so expert at it yet. But I’m really hauling my behind everyday to get good at this. And I think I’m not doing too bad even though I didn’t grow up with much encouragement and support from my parents.

Tbh not so comfortable with school and hesitant about trusting them since some past incidents that happened at the school. So all I know is they can be covering up things since they don’t really want me to know. I’ve went against the school and the district before because of some incidents that I did not like.

I guess I hope it’s just a stage. Maybe I’m worrying too much and getting too ocd about this. Because around his age I was a lot more disrespectful, more attitude, troubled and rebellious compare to him. Compare to me at his age, he has a lot more positive attitude towards things like school, towards me, sports, friendships, and etc.

I’ll see where it goes…

[Sophia-RO]

Hello @Sunmoon , it sounds like you have read up a bit on what your son is going through and that you really care about him. It’s great to hear that he is still interacting with his friends and getting along well with them. From what you have been posting, it sounds like you are doing a great job already at being supportive and encouraging of your son and his needs.

Sorry to hear about your past experiences with your son’s school. It must be hard not feeling as though you can trust them and turn to them for support. Hopefully things turn out well for you and your son .