I need help for my 17 year old daughter has no true friends and is extremely lonely.

[nataliestone]

I am so worried about my daughter. She is a very sweet girl. She wants a friend so bad. She just opened up to me and cried so hard that she eats her lunch at school in the bathroom. She has no real friends and doesn't get invited to hang out with other kids. She is always feeling left out. She has low self esteem and I dont know what to do to help her. I know there has to be other kids out there feeling the same way and I just dont know how to connect her with others. Her grades have gone down this year. I am helpless. I wish I could find a forum online where she can connect with other teenagers that might need a friend. She thinks she is the only one going through this. I have seen her feeling down, but nothing like today. She is hurting so bad. I am even crying writing this. I feel so desperate to help her.

[Sophia-RO]

Hey @nataliestone , as mentioned in my other comment, I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling quite worried about your daughter and how she has not been able to make good friendships. From what you have mentioned, things sound really difficult for your daughter, and school sounds like it is a somewhat isolating experience for her. I think it is really great that you are reaching out here for support and looking for ways that you can help your daughter with what she is experiencing. I think it shows how much you care about your daughter .

It sounds like she is having some issues at school with her classmates and her schoolwork, so I am just wondering if any of her teachers, coordinators, or school counsellors have discussed with you how to best support your daughter? They may have some strategies that they could use to help your daughter get through this tough situation. In regards to the forums that you think might be helpful for your daughter, I have had a look at some online youth forums that are available in the USA and found one here that you might want to look further into. We also have some resources on our website about how to help your teenager make friends that you might find to be helpful. Here is a link to one if you are interested.

You also mentioned that you have seen your daughter feeling down, but that it does not compare to how she has been feeling today. I just wanted to ask if you have any concerns about your daughter’s safety?

[Flora_]

Wow, it sounds like your daughter is struggling. If she’s open to talking, you could listen to what she needs from you, and give advice. A parents first instinct is to help their child in any way they can, but when older teens are struggling their social lives, you need to provide resources and advice, but only step in if you feel your child is being bullied. Some great ways to meet people are school clubs and teen centers. At a club, your daughter can meet people with common interests, and get involved in school. At a teen center, she can receive help with her homework, meet kids her age, do workshops, and a lot more. Good luck. I hope your daughter finds some friends.

[Flora_]

It also may be a good idea for her to talk to the school counselor, or a peer counselor. Your right, she shouldn’t have to go through this alone.

[saperson]

Hi Natalie, i have a soon to be 15 year old going on 70 who is going through the exact same thing.

[Djorvilla]

Hi... I can help you. Can you explain to me what/how have being happening... 

[AJFELLA]

Did you find a group?

[LeeBelle]

Hi  @nataliestone 

I was a teen in mid 70's and went through exact same issues.  First year of high school I disliked, well I use the word hated everything about myself.  I was separated from my two friends as we went to different high schools.  Could never understand why boys were not interested in me so my inferior complex about myself started.  Half way through third year at high school changed to a country town school, well that was agonising not knowing anyone, everyone already had their own groups and I was all alone and I would hide from going to certain classes, sit down the back corner hoping not to be noticed, then you have the bullies who would harass you while going to toilet.  So my school life was agonising to attend and yep boys never seemed to be interested in me, my complex became unbearable and I would cry so much seeing all the cool groups hanging together.  So it looks like nothing has changed within the school environment 60 years later.  Sadly for me I never got over those years which has led to my terrible insecurities I have within myself till this day.  Life turned badly for me when someone showed some love interest in me, well I got pregnant and spent two years with an abusive husband, thank god I had the guts to pack up and run.