My 14 year old daughter wants to go you with a boy from school...help!

[dad007007]

My 14 year old daughter wants to go out to the movies with a boy from school, my wife and I thinks she is too young. 

What do we do?

If we say NO, she my go behind our backs.

We are trying to work it through but would love to hear from someone that has been here.

She is the top of her year at school, she is a smart girl but I still think she is very young. She is in year 9.

Should we just chill? I say no to Chilling. 

Dad

[Hannah_RO]

Hi @dad007007 , welcome to the ReachOut community! Thank you for reaching out and sharing your situation with us

It seems that you and your wife have been facing the challenge of coming to an agreement with your daughter about going out with a boy at her age. It sounds like in this instance, you are wanting to establish a boundary, but you’re worried that your daughter might go behind your back. Sounds like an incredibly difficult situation to be in. 

I am wondering if you’ve had a chance to chat with your daughter about your concerns regarding going out with the boy from school? Having an open and honest conversation about your concerns might be a good starting point for discussing the boundaries you want to set.

We have some really helpful articles that might be useful. There is one here on setting boundaries with your teenager, and one on effective communication with your teen here. Though I hear that you’re not comfortable with your daughter going out with a boy at this stage, I wanted to share an article on supporting your teen with romantic relationships here, for when these conversations start to come up at home. 

It sounds like you are trying your best to handle this situation with your daughter, and it's clear that you and your wife have her best interests and safety in mind. By reaching out here, I hope you can also connect with parents who might be facing similar situations with their teens.