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Teenager not expressing emotions

Discussion forum for parents in Australia

Teenager not expressing emotions

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MamaJ

Teenager not expressing emotions

Hi
We have a 13 year old daughter who has just had a major meltdown and it’s our first one where she is really upset. Don’t get me wrong we have had lots of meltdowns before, but this one seems to be our worst.
She is stubborn and strong willed.
Will not listen to us and will not take any advice or help from us.
What techniques have worked for you in this situation? We do not know what to do and how to help her.
Community Manager
Astra-RO

Re: Teenager not expressing emotions

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Hi @MamaJ, welcome to the online community and thank you for reaching out about what's been happening with your daughter.

It must have been very distressing seeing your daughter so upset at such a level you haven't seen before. I can hear you have been trying to support her through these meltdowns in the past but this most recent one was very intense and you're not sure what to do. 

It shows a lot of strength that you've reached out for help with this, as this isn't always an easy thing to do. 

You mentioned that your daughter won't listen or take any help or advice from you, and it can be really tough when loved ones reject our help like this. Often, when our emotions are really heightened, such as during a meltdown, it can make it even more difficult to be willing to hear advice from others.  I'm wondering if you've been able to speak with her since the meltdown? Were you able to identify what may have triggered the situation? 

In terms of strategies that might be helpful, you might find some of these communication skills helpful, but what's helpful may depend on your unique situation and what specifically was coming up for your daughter. Would you be open to share the kinds of emotions your daughter was experiencing during the meltdown, such as anger, anxiety, or sadness? 

If you're wanting to speak one on one with a professional about what happened, it could be helpful to connect with a service like Parentline or ReachOut's parents coaching service