08-28-2017 09:07 AM
Three days after his return, I felt it was all a failure. I felt incredibly low which is rare for me. I had concluded the only solution was to provide him an ultimatum, of either move out or shape up. This obviously has all sorts of problems. My wife fortunately got me to calm down and I had my third parent coaching on ReachOut.
It it is now one week later. My son has had one follow up discussion with the Wilderness Therapy director, and we are seeing all sorts of improvements in behaviour that we were not seeing before he went.
I did expect more discussion with my son about what he had learnt and what he was going to put into action. He has claimed he did not like it and did not get anything out of it. The photos and report we have are at odds with his comments on this.
Our strategies are working much better though.
No display of extreme anger.
Some disrespect, however we can pull him up and he will apologise.
We have implemented a hardware solution to wifi / internet access. This is working well. Complete blocking all night. Access control at other times.
He has to earn everything. No pocket money, no access to cash.
Food provided at home.
We have a long way back to get to a level where we all start to feel comfortable again.
I took him to play hockey yesterday. We were close to a native plant nursery we are familiar with. In the past we have enjoyed replanting areas of the garden at the start of spring. I suggested we buy some plants, not expecting anything. To my surprise he wanted to. At home he concentrated and helped for about 45 min. That is a turn around in itself. He agreed we can do more in the next few weeks.
So I can say with confidence 1 week after he is back that the True North Wilderness Therapy has proved to be the turning point we were looking to achieve. Without this I believe we would be wringing our hearts and minds this week as to whether we could cope any more and just change the locks and let him fend for himself.
09-02-2017 09:30 AM - edited 09-02-2017 09:32 AM
Of all the resources we have used, my wife and I agree that the parent coaching has been the most helpful.
We each had different coaches which was also really good, as this provided additional ideas we could try out.
I highly recommend doing it.
09-02-2017 09:41 AM
09-03-2017 01:32 PM
Two weeks post Adventure Therapy report.
We have had an up and down two weeks post trip return.
Our son's behaviour has improved. It has not been the big step change I now realise I had hoped for. However, on my rating scale this is where we are.
4 weeks before adventure Therapy. 150/100 on the BBTS (Badly Behaving Teen Scale).
2 weeks before adventure Therapy. 130/100 BBTS.
2 weeks after Return from Adventure Therapy. 80/100 BBTS
Less than 10/100 I would class as a thoughtful considerate teen with the odd bad day.
Overall my rating for Adventure Bush Therapy?
It was great for us. If we had not sent our son on this, I do not know where we would be now. Simply as some days are now tolerable.
Prior to this, we were shattered and falling apart.
09-03-2017 01:49 PM
09-03-2017 02:42 PM - edited 09-03-2017 02:43 PM
We are now on the path of do nothing/get nothing.
Reward for doing good things. That is hard to find them doing good stuff when it has been so bad. An improvement is good, but it is hard to offer or feel praise when they have been so difficult.
Next we will have to start withdrawing things.
He does not get it that to be a functional member of this household (or any other for that matter) he has to do things to live.
Wash clothes, do dishes etc.
We are trying to implement a jobs schedule with rewards. It is not working very well at the moment.
09-03-2017 03:48 PM