2 weeks ago
A brief summary of why I have found myself here...
After many years of heartbreaking fertility issues we were lucky enough to have a perfect baby boy, he was the child of dreams, slept well ate well hardly ever got sick, developed well and had no attachment issues. As he approached 4 he had a situation in a nursery with a staff member being less that nurturing and aggressive towards his Dad and he began stuttering and having accidents. We immediately pulled him our and found a new setting. He settled in school excellently and began displaying the expected restraint collapse behaviour after the first term. However as the school years progressed his behaviour had become more and more erratic. He cannot stay still, is constantly talking or making noises, is entirely time blind and cannot keep track of any of his belongings. As a learning support assistant who works with SEND children i recognise the glaring neon sign flashing ADHD. my issue is that at school he excels, he is focused and gets all his work done, is rarely reprimanded for anything other than chatting too much. As the school years have progressed he has started to show some minor behaviour at school but at home it is entirely different, he is aggressive, angry, dismissive and manipulative. We have tried everything to make his life at home as stress free as possible, schedules, visual aids, timers, fidgets, weighted blankets, workbooks, journals emotional literacy activities, stories. I have used my entire arsenal to no effect. The school believe he is "fine" but at home I am on constant egshells being used as a physical and emotional punchbag. I tried to go through my local well-being services and GP but in England the services are stretched to breaking point and effectively useless. He had a nurse visit in school and her response was just that he was able to talk effectively about his feelings and what strategies he could use to help...which I knew because I had taught him them. I was given no support in how to actually get him to use them instead of flying into a rage and attempting to hurt himself for effect. The emotional and mental warfare I am under is really taking its toll and I am not sure what my next steps are. I know that the pressure he is under at school is his main trigger but hes not exhibiting the behaviour and its not affecting him academically so i feel like my pleas are falling on deaf ears.
2 weeks ago
Hi @MrsKristicle , thank you for sharing a bit about your situation with us. It sounds like managing your son’s behaviour at home has become really difficult lately, and it’s taking a toll on your own mental health and well-being. Sounds like it has been an incredibly tough time for the family.
It sounds like you have been trying the best you can to find ways to support your son to manage his behavior, and I imagine it to be incredibly frustrating to not get support from the school or other support services in your area. Do you have a family GP or doctor you might be able to speak to for advice on steps to take?
If you are interested in learning more about ADHD, we have some resources here and here. We also have an article on supporting your child with ADHD here and here.
Throughout all of this, it’s important to take care of your own mental health and well-being. Do you have access to your own supports in your life? Such as a friend, family member or counsellor? Prioritising self-care is a great way to take care of your well-being. Are there any self-care activities you can think of that you think might help you to relax and unwind on tough days?