Need help now?

Daughter came out

Discussion forum for parents in Australia

Active scribe

Daughter came out

My 12 yo came out this past weekend and said she was non binary and lesbian and that she watched TikTok videos and discovered 2 years ago she was non binary so I’m extremely confused and concerned please help

Prolific scribe

Re: Daughter came out

Message contains a hyperlink

Hi @Riannyn1 and welcome to our online community!

I'm sorry to hear that you have had such a difficult week, I can only imagine how you must be feeling right now after hearing that your daughter is non-binary and lesbian. I can hear just how much you care about your child and I think that's really lovely to see. I was just wondering if you have had a chance to sit down and talk about what this means for them?

If you feel up to reading, I have found some great articles on Gender and Sexuality and what you can do to support your child. Gender and teenagers is a great article as it explores what your child might be feeling, along with how you can approach the subject. I also found a video about a parent sharing their experience on Gender Identity, and an article on Supporting teens with their sexuality, which could also be worth having a look at. I wonder if maybe these articles will give you more of an idea of what you can do next.

I also just want to remind you that you're important too. So I was wondering what supports you both have in place right now? Is there someone that you would feel comfortable talking to about this?


We're all here for you.

Active scribe

Re: Daughter came out

I don’t have many people to talk to it’s hard being a dad and your oldest comes out and now all she does is disrespect and if I have a conversation and forget because I was raised they / them mean multiple and I speak complete proper sentences and she will just blurt out they if I say she
Active scribe

Re: Daughter came out

See above

Re: Daughter came out

Hi @Riannyn1, I have just read through your posts and wanted to chime in and say thank you for sharing what has been going on for you at the moment. It sounds like the news of your daughter coming out as non-binary and lesbian has been quite challenging for you to process. It is understandable that it has been really difficult for you, wanting to understand your daughter as they explore their identity and ensure they are supported while doing so. You truly seem like a parent who is doing your best to support and be respectful of your daughter and their needs. 

It is really important that when someone tells us about their gender identity or sexuality, we validate that and support them in the ways they need. To be supportive of your daughter, some of the things you can do is try your best to use the correct preferred pronouns and to support the way they express their gender through what they wear. It might also be really helpful to keep the line of communication open by asking how else your daughter would like to be supported by you. Are these things you would feel comfortable supporting them with?

Another way to be supportive of a child coming out is to educate yourself about gender diversity and sexuality. Did you have a chance to read through any of the articles that @Courtney-RO has shared? 

I also just wanted to let you know that I have removed your first name from your original post to ensure that your posts remain anonymous. 

Moderator Hours

This forum is moderated from

09:00AM to 5:00PM Mon - Fri

We are not a counselling or crisis service and we can't guarantee you'll get a reply, so if you need to talk now

Click here for help

The current time is Mon, 5:43 AM
(Australian Eastern time)