My depression stories

[CTorres]

Hi

Found this support forum really helpful.

My lack of social skills is debilitating. I pretty much hold a sign that says I'm a loser whenever I'm in a public setting. I sincerely would much rather be invisible then constantly having to deal with shame.

My parents have never given me an opportunity to flourish and build my personality, I never played with friends outside as a kid, or had sleepovers, I was never encouraged to have hobbies. They pretty much made me only focus on school and that wasn't even conducive since I only had slightly above average grades.

I probably spent my childhood caught up with made up scenarios in head. I always felt more comfortable living in my small fantasy world, interacting with these very distinct characters who have their own names and personal lives, so I wouldn't be surprised if I were actually diagnosed with MDD.

This may sound rude, but I hate social butterflies who always try to be positive and bubbly all the times, but it's generally those types of girls that others want to be around ,and who men tend to be more drawn to.
Seeing other people have a good number of friends and dating experience is really saddening given that I only have 3 to 4 solid friends, and never dated anyone

What's even worse is that I lack that discipline to build social skills, to have the guts to speak to people, attend events or do fun activities. I don't have any specific hobby that makes me stand out, that "it" factor that makes others interested in me.

I guess I don't really have a question, but it feels good to air out all the negative thoughts in my head.

[Sophia-RO]

Hello @CTorres , I am glad to hear that you have found the forums to be helpful. I am sorry that you feel ashamed in social settings, that sounds like it would be really difficult to experience. It sounds like you feel that you missed out on some social opportunities in your childhood and that this has been impacting you lately – is that right? You also mentioned that you feel more comfortable focussing on scenarios in your head and that you would not be surprised if you were diagnosed with MDD. Could I ask a bit about what you mean by this?

I am glad to hear that you have felt relieved to share some of the thoughts that you have been having. Do you have anyone around you that you feel comfortable talking to about these thoughts as well?