Discussion forum for parents in Australia
09-05-2016 11:32 PM
09-05-2016 11:35 PM
Hi!
I'm a newb here, but not a newb at being a parent. I've always been a bit shy to do the 'online' thing.... I'd rather get personal in person!
Anyway, I do like to join in a good chat, so here goes!!
1. How old are your kids and what is one thing they've done recently that made you laugh?
I have two kids - one a pre-teen, and one a late teen. The older one makes me laugh cos she's at that age where she *thinks* she doesn't need her mum anymore! We all know what THAT means?? Haha! I think it's funny, cos I felt the same about my own mum when I was her age. I don't take offense at all. I just hope she stays happy and healthy, and she knows I am here for her when she does need me. Plus I'm the sort of mum that drops by with something for the kids, or some flowers or choccies or some nicknack, for herself.
The younger fellow? - He makes me laugh every day!! Boys are so different, but keeps me active He has a smashing sense of humour, and tries to make jokes. And I laugh at ALL of them!! We roll on the floor in stiches... both of us together!
2. Parenting can be really stressful - how do you try to keep those stress levels down?
Sure can be stressful at times - especially when there is a battle of wills!
Making sure I look after myself - exercise, eat well, eat treats when I like, relax and snuggle with a good book or show when I can, write on bed after the house goes quiet at night, and organise little outings. I've become adept at outings that save the pennies, but I love treating them to a special movie night at the dendy, or sitting at a cafe. He loves that with his mum
3. What led you to ReachOut Parents today?
I initially signed up as I saw this advert on the back of a maxi taxi in the city one day. Read the interesting articles, but never posted or anything.
What led me back here today? Well, I guess it's the season for it! No issues in particular at all
4. Whats your top tip for parents whose kids are about to enter teenage years?
Keep the lines of communication open. Really spend the years building up your relationship with them. Treat them like a young adult they are, but they need you so much still in their growing teen years - as a guide, as a parent. One who sets boundaries, who they can confide in. Keep guiding them with the standards and values they have come to depend on and grow up with in your family unit. Andn LOVE them to bits - in all their individuality! And, from experience, SUPPORT them in their journey.
Even if they take different paths - just support them without prejudice or judgement. After all, the world is a big place!
5. Whats the best thing about weekends?
Weekends are for gardening together, shopping together, going to the beach together, reading together. We do everything together. We even keep sports and music lessons to during the week, as weekends are definite family time.
09-05-2016 11:36 PM
09-05-2016 11:42 PM
09-06-2016 01:42 AM
09-06-2016 12:03 PM - edited 09-06-2016 12:15 PM
Welcome @mums_taxi, look forward to chatting with you around the forum!
Welcome back @Ginger, I just saw your original intro post. Sounds like it's been a tough journey over the past while. Would you like to start a new topic to discuss potential support options? You can do that here. It might make it easier for others to find your post and share their experiences.
09-06-2016 04:27 PM
Hello to new members @Cassandra, @Hellatired, @mrs_hook and @Rainbowz. Welcome, please tell us a bit more about what brought you to RO Parents.
Would love to know:
1. How old are your kids and what is one thing they've done recently that made you laugh?
2. Parenting can be really stressful - how do you try to keep those stress levels down?
3. What led you to ReachOut Parents today?
4. Whats your top tip for parents whose kids are about to enter teenage years?
5. Whats the best thing about weekends?
09-06-2016 06:49 PM
09-06-2016 07:39 PM
Hi,
I am a mum to four young adults and a carer for my teen Nephew.
My kids are now 27-son, 25-daughter, 23-daughter and 19-son. My nephew is 15.
My kids have all gone down different paths when it came to careers, but have all got such similar values and close bond with each other, as siblings. No matter what, if one is in trouble they all come forward.
The two youngest of my children suffer from depression and Anxiety, and so do I.
We try to support and share with each other and the rest of the immediate family, as well.
My 19 yr old son has just started his second ever job, and I cant be any more happier, despite still being so nervous and anxious for him too.
He finished yr 12 in 2014, got into his chosen Uni and went on to study there.
Getting him through his final 6 months of yr 12 was tough, but I would suggest always touch base with their teachers and leaders at the school fi you see your child struggling mentally and physically. His were fantastic.
He started Uni in 2015 but deferred after a short 4 months and hasnt been back since. He hasn't worked for the last 12 months and I found it so hard getting him out of his room, to socialise and to even look for a job. His depression and anxiety was very high. Through the support of his siblings and his dad and I.....he applied for a job as a "Linen Assistant" at the biggest hospital in Perth....and he loves it.
With any of my children...I feel, to ease the stress, is to make sure you are available for each other, and if you are not, then team tag in the family and ask someone who is able to step up. This has helped them gain their sibling bonds. I have brought them all up to understand that nothing is off topic...if you need to talk, you do no matter the subject.
This has been important for me, as I have found myself in a Private clinic twice over the past year with my mental health and my children have been there for each other, as well as for me. They were curious as to how the clinic worked, and I shared openly with them.
As for my nephew...it is a complicated case and I am struggling to get him through his teen years. I became his female carer after his mum (my sister) passed away 12 years ago.
I found Reachout on my FB page...it was advertised and recommended for me to like...which I did
My top tip for parents whose kids are about to enter their teens......go with the flow!
As a lot of the time you will be "winging it".
Choose your battles and try to have empathy and understanding at how hard it is today for our teens to grow and florish into young adults. Todays world is so fast paced and way too much of everything.....take it back to the simple things with your kids every now and then.....stay grounded.
Teach your kids the social skills needed and never forget to teach them to practise kindness and respect. Values are very important. Mostly...Talk, Talk, Talk to each other. Oh...and hugs....lots of hugs!
The best thing about weekends.....family time. My husband is FIFO, so when he is home it is wonderful to have all the kids (3 have moved out), come home for dinner or a sleepover.
Weekends are also a time for me to reflect on my job. I work with Kindergarten and they can be very challenging......but, I wouldnt change it for the world.
I also love my Mindful colouring and art card making, as well as my country walks.
09-07-2016 11:18 AM
Welcome aboard @mum_of_four. If I was wearing a hat, I'd take it off to you for making it through five kids in one household! How are you managing your own health, if you don't mind me asking?
Reading about your son's experience looking for work, I was thinking you might have some good insights for our discussion topic on teens and part-time jobs.
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