Step son

[Osapple]

I married my husband almost 4 years ago. I married him before I met my step son. His son has a lot of DX. His bio mother isn’t in his life, never sees her. He is with us constantly and in the beginning my husband allowed it to cause a lot of problems between us. We have been through therapy and have grown together and it’s never us against the child anymore, but he also has a step grandmother that is completely obsessed. They’re both obsessed with each other. The father of my husband and the step mother of my husband is always trying to control what we do and how we parent not only him, but our son together and my adult daughter that has a baby. I’ve given up a lot and I’ve not been able to even have a fun get to know you bonding relationship with this child. He’s extremely difficult and one of his DX is ODD. On top of the other issues he has and the obsession from the step grandmother it is so difficult on me. I don’t get breaks from him. I can’t be lax on him. I can’t feel like I can raise him like my other kids to just be kids. He’s lied, he’s even gotten CPS to our house from his lies, he’s just constant I’m so drained and I do try to connect with things he loves and include him with family things and things just with him and I, but unfortunately it makes his behavior worse the more attention he gets. We have him in therapy and I’m trying so hard. When he’s around he causes chaos and stress with me, with the other kids, I’m just frustrated and tired. Not looking for a solution as we and I are doing everything for this little boy but more or less a place to be able to breathe. I love him a lot but dear god, it’s tough. I’m thankful my husband and I are always on the same page and he has my back and I have his.

[Iona_RO]

Hi @Osapple 

Thanks for reaching out for some support. It sounds like you really love your family and want the best support for everyone. It's great to see that you and your husband went to therapy together, and that your step son also has the support of a therapist. 

I'm wondering if you were given any advice from these therapists on how to support your step son and the issues that arise with his ODD diagnosis? We are an Austrailan-based service, so we are limited in the resources and referrals we can provide. However, you may like to have a read though of some more information on ODD here.

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate and are understandably feeling overwhelmed at the moment, have you been able to chat to any of your friends or family about how you're feeling?

We're going to send an email to you soon, please look out for it in your inbox.