Uncoachable

[Asldk_2022]

Hi, first time poster here.
I have a 13yr old son that is heavily involved in a team sport. Over the past 12months he has made a couple of state teams. The problem I am having is a few different coaches have told me he has a bad attitude.
Now it breaks my heart to hear this as I know he loves the game he plays.
He is strong willed but so soft hearted and gives out that he is confident but deep down I know he isnt.. so when coaches are trying to help him, his body language gives off that he doesn't care what they are saying.
When I talk to him about it, he says he feels like they are telling him he isn't any good, so is getting tense and obviously giving off that vibe.
Is it confidence, is it anxiety ?
How do I help him start recognising his body language and build some confidence and positive behaviour? I struggle as much as he does with the above😅
I don't want him to get a reputation that he is uncoachable(sadly I think he already does)..

[Courtney-RO]

Hi @Asldk_2022 and welcome to our online community!

It can be so hard to hear things like this about our own children, especially when you know just how much they love what they're doing. I am sorry to hear that you've been put in such a tough position. You mentioned that you have spoken to him about it, I was just wondering if he told you why he feels like they are telling him he isn't any good? Do you think it could be helpful to talk to the coach about it and perhaps asking if they might consider approaching it differently?

If you are up for a bit of a read, it might be worth having a look at the Raising Children's Network as they have a number of articles on teens and sport behaviours that you might find helpful. I am also wondering how you take care of yourself when things get hard? If you would like to talk to someone about this, Parentline is a great resource and may be able to give you some advice on what to do from here.

We are all here for you.