Boundary setting for teen drinking

[Julz18]

My 14 year old daughter, whine I have a very open and close relationship as started to push boundaries. On the weekend she stole alcohol from our home supplies and took over some gin to a friends house to drink before they went to a party.
She told me about it last night and was crying as she felt bad that she had stolen from me and that she might be disappointing me. She only told me because her friend told her mum and she was worried I would find out from her friend.
I was unable to share with my mum when I was a teenager as I was worried she would be disappointed in me. I have always wanted to be the mum that my kids would come to and could feel comfortable with so I could help guide them. The problem is, although she told me about it, she has broken my trust and I can't condone under age drinking at this age. She is still too young.
I am interested to hear How have other parents manages similar situations?

[Iona_RO]

Hi @Julz18 

Thanks for reaching out for support on this, I'm sure lots of parents in the community will relate to this situation. It's a tough one for any parent to handle! I think it's really positive that your daughter did eventually come to you and that you're really keen to open up that conversation with her. 

I can definitely understand your concern about her being so young when drinking alcohol, as parents we want to make sure our teens are making safe decisions. We have this article that shares more information on the effects of alcohol that might be helpful to read through. We also have this one, that has lots of advice on how to set expectations and communicate with your teen around the topic of alcohol that will hopefully give you some tips on how to start that conversation. 

We also have this video where parents share their thoughts on drugs and alcohol that you might find helpful to watch too. It sounds like you are a very caring parent who wants to make sure there is continued trust between you and your daughter, and I imagine your daughter really appreciates being able to talk to you about the issues many teens face as they figure out their right from wrong. You're doing great!