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Connect with other parents: School refusal

Discussion forum for parents in Australia

Connect with other parents: School refusal


Re: Connect with other parents: School refusal

Hi all, first time joining this site. My 12yo daughter started year 7 this year, and the first two terms seemed to go well, with a good report mid year. However term 3 she started to refuse to go to school, saying she hated everyone and everything there, it was too noisy, she didnt like the things she was hearing (in general, not directed at her) and she didnt feel like she had any good friends, just some kids she hung out with. Ive done all the right things like communication with the student support officer and counsellor, who have put some good strategies in place, like a time out pass from class when it feels overwhelming. We also developed a mental health plan with our GP which lead to weekly visits to a child psychologist. Unfortunately the best we have achieved is maybe 1 or two days a week in school, but not doing any homework or assignments. I feel like everyone has done everything they can to support her but she is not really cooperating and being part of the solution. She doesnt seemed concerned that she is falling behind and will find it difficult to catch up, and that it could have a significant long-term negative affect on her life. There doesnt appear to be a particular incident or person that has caused this, she just said its everything. Its also very upsetting for me a  parent to see my child struggling like this, but also because I feel so helpless and un-equipped to deal with something like this. AT first the counsellor advised not to take devices from her, because like it or not, we have to accept that this is how kids connect these days so it would just make her feel even more disconnected if we took them away. However, now we are a few months in to supporting her, and shes not improving, I feel like I need to limit here access to devices because its just too comfortable for her to stay at home and be on them all day. I dont know if thats the right thing to do or not, but Im just trying anything that might get her to school i.e. she earns access to her phone if she goes to school. 

Interesting to hear on this site that this is not an uncommon scenario, and I wonder if the Government recognises this and will provide more support, instead of just saying they must go to school,  its the law! easier said than done.