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21 year old daughter

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21 year old daughter

My daughter who’s is 21 is seeing a 22 year old boy who is showing signs of abuse towards her I can’t sit. back and do nothing I’m not naive and know how some men charm and seduce women I also have a lot of experience my daughter is 4ft8 and he is 6ft 3 I met him and straight away I felt a shiver just by looking into his eyes he actually reminded of my daughters farther who she has been estranged from for since she was 8 she has had mental health issues since 15 self harm and depression disorientation and takes antidepressants she was doing really well moved to go uni works part time and takes care of herself.Now he has come along and it’s driving me crazy my daughter has raised a lot of concerns about him with her 3 siblings who have shared with me and begged me not to say they told me my daughter has also sent me voicemails telling me about his behaviour which is really worrying I’ve had a chat with her about my concerns and fears we disagreed she cried she said she loves him they have known each other for 7 weeks and are spending too much time together if she was stronger mentally I wouldn’t get so involved but I can’t watch her go backwards this boy takes class A drugs and is telling her that it’s harmless and just like caffeine drinks and has type 1 diabetes which he plays on a lot and is always getting hypo and running out of syringes I’ve told me daughter the only way I will be comfortable is if I talk to him about his intentions and how he plans to take care of my daughter he has no job I want him to know that my daughter has a very close and supportive family who will not sit back and let him hurt her if her dad was around I’m sure he would have a chat with him so as a single parent that is what I’m going to do just wanted your thoughts and advice please

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Re: 21 year old daughter

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Hi @Mazz123 and thank you for sharing with us today!

I'm sorry to hear that you are in this situation right now, I can only imagine how scary and concerning that must be for you.  I can hear just how much you care about your daughter and how worried you are for her and this relationship. You mentioned that your daughter has expressed some of her concerns to her siblings, do you mind me asking what were some of the things she was concerned about? When you did sit down with her to share how you felt about it, were you able to ask her about some of these concerns? I was also wondering if you would feel comfortable sharing more about the abuse and some of the things he has been doing?

It sounds like a lot to be managing on your own, especially after hearing that your daughter has been dealing with mental health issues for the past few years on top of everything else. Do you mind me asking what supports you have around you right now? Would you feel comfortable reaching out to a GP or health professional at all?

If you are interested in having a bit of a read at all, I did come across a few articles that may be worth having a look at. Including Teenagers and Relationships, Peer Pressure and Getting help for your teenager. While they are Australian sites and support suggestions, I wonder if maybe they will give you an idea of where to go next.

I also just wanted to let you know that I have had to edit your post a little to keep within our Community Guidelines.

We are all here for you.