10-22-2022 09:16 AM - last edited on 10-24-2022 10:25 AM by Iona_RO
I have dealt with a year of drama and almost a year dealing with Dcs. I'm fed up. My sos and his ex and everything with it. Including their son. Im a caring loving person, but I feel used and abused etc. I've dealt with my sos being inconsistent with his son . To my sos ex(mother to his son)abandoning her son. To later on being accused by the ex and her mother of abuse and their son is still being abused by someone and it is getting ignored. the both of them are more worried about fighting for custody and neither of them should have him. The maternal grandmother is part of it she wants custody as well, and I think she knows who is abusing him. It's a **bleep** show. All while I have my own son that I had from a previous relationship who just finished chemotherapy. I'm tired . I hate the ex she's not a mother she just doesn't want my sos to have custody. My sos I'm starting to loathe him , he is inconsistent with a lot at first he would go through a lot of jobs, won't go to the doctors, won't get health insurance, won't drive refuses to take a bus for a good paying job, is living with me , he is just becoming more and more unattractive to me. I used to love him he used to care but once his son came into the picture he just became a **bleep**ty person. His son will be three soon , and I just can't imagine another 15 years of dealing with this bull**bleep**. Not a homewrecker by the way. The two split up when she was pregnant and my sos just was not involved and was planning to sign his rights over and probably would of . And I was not going to judge on that at all. Because it is his life . But what pisses me off he steady for almost two year was going to sign his rights away which I told him he couldn't till he proved the child was his. And at the time that was questionable. Also, my sos just was not up for it but over time he kept debating and going back fourth usually he would doubt his choice when his family was in his ear about it or his ex who weirdly enough was texting him to sign his right over and she wanted him to not be a part of his son life. Like he was leaving her alone and couldn't sign his rights away to a child he had no proof was his. She literally caused the drama she so desperately tries to act like she did not want and hates and wish my sos would stop trying for custody. We would not be here if it where not for her . My sos had no plans to be in his son's life. Yes I know he has been in mine. being with me who has full custody of my child, my child will be there. But I'm not my sos or his ex. I have been consistent with my child. I do not plan to have my child to spite my ex, or have custody to spite my ex. That's what they are doing. It's not about my sos son they want to piss eachother off. Which makes it hard for me to be around my sos son, he is hard to handle and trust me I know my own child is not no peach and has health issues but my sos came into knowing this and was warned. I feel like my sos lied to me, he did not want his son, and well his behaviors even now prove to me he just wants custody of his son to spite his ex. I just want to tell dcs he don't care and he is just doing this to spite his ex. He constantly relies on me to care for his son. And I'm starting to loathe it. I have friends and family come around and take pictures of his son when he arrive to my place and leaves ( so nothing can be blamed on me again for the abuse he getting else where)because my sos won't . I'm the one who gives the phone to set up his visit cancel them he won't do it. He won't get his son birth certificate etc. It's like he wants me to do it all. And I just won't Im burnt out. My son is sick and going blind and it's like no one cares these people are miserable to be around and top it off the maternal grandmother has convinced my sos son to come over and be mean to me and my son and tell us he don't want to be at our house. I'm breaking. My son loves my sos and what bothers me the most is my sos is different with my son he is more committed to my son then his own. He will do anything and everything for my son . Spend time with my son etc. But with my sos seems to avoid his son. It's weird . How do I tell dcs what is going on without pisses my sos off. I just want this boy to have a better life.
10-22-2022 04:54 PM
Hi @rockyroad78 and welcome to the Parents Forum, we hope that you are able to find the support you need by connecting with other parents.
I'm very sorry that you have been experiencing such stressful events over the past year. You are showing enormous strength given that your son has gone through chemo, that must have been incredibly difficult for you.
I can understand that you are dealing with a lot of challenges given that you are in a blended family situation. Do you have any professional supports in place at the moment? Or do you have any family or close friends that you are able to confide in?
I've also sent you an email, so please keep an eye out for that.
Please take care of yourself.