14yr punishing father

[Jaybird7890]

My partner has a very close bond with his daughter despite being divorced from her mother for a long time. The parents including myself are friendly.

He spent a long time away from her (with me in a different country) and this was fine with all concerned.

On his return he failed to go straight to see his daughter as planned and instead went AWOL due to feeling guilty about not wanting to be back there. He loves his daughter very much and these feelings didn't include her but mental health issues muddied the water for him.

She refuses to speak or see him and it's been nearly a month now. She will only forgive him if he does as she says eg. Exercises every day, gets a good job and eats healthily. He is in a deep depression that is stopping him doing any of those things.

I am appalled at the conditional love daughter is demonstrating and feel Father should set boundaries here about he will live his life as HE chooses and that he loves her very much but build a relationship now based on respect and not to be controlled by the daughter. Mum backs daughter 100%.

I am staying out of it completely, not giving my opinion but remain friendly with his ex for when this eventually changes..... hopefully.

Father's mental health is declining rapidly as a result of being rejected from his daughter and I'm very concerned. Does anyone have any advice on how he can break this cycle and current situation?

Thank you